On Thursday, Jonathan Moorhead posted the following poll:

Which category do you most appropriately fit as a Christian?

Persecuted Minority
or
Moral Majority

My first reaction was:

Are those the only choices? Come on, man, very few of us are persecuted, we are not the majority, and I do not want any part of the Moral Majority as a political force.

I thought that was an astute observation. Dr. Moorhead disagreed:

David, are you kidding me? I know better than to make “Neither” a choice! It’s not necessary what fits you perfectly, but what fits you most appropriately. You best go ahead and choose the red or blue pill.

Well, knowing that Jonathan is from the South and packing heat, I decided it might be prudent to let him have his way:

O, fine, be that way, I'll play. While I'm at it, would you like a date with Michael Moore, or David Duke? It’s not necessary what fits you perfectly, but what fits you most appropriately.

Ha! I kill me! I may not be a Th.D. candidate, but I’ve got B.S. aplenty! Which led to:

David, you're a good sport. It will be your job to interpret the results of the poll.

I thought he was joking, but I guess he wasn’t. So here is my interpretation.

Early results (14 votes) were 100% Persecuted Minority. There are two, possibly three, types of people who identified themselves this way.

The largest group is like me. We don’t really consider ourselves persecuted, but we loathe the political force that uses the name Moral Majority. We also have experienced some minor unpleasantness due to our faith, so we told ourselves we really weren’t lying.

The second group are whiners. They actually consider the previously-mentioned unpleasantness to be legitimate persecution. Some body call the waaaaaambulance.

The third, and smallest, group are those who have actually been persecuted. Yes, it happens, even here in the U.S.A. More likely, though, they are not Americans.

The Persecuted Minority group dropped to 87.5% when two tough guys voted Moral Majority, making 12.5%. There are two possible descriptions for these voters.

Possibly, they have had their head in the sand long enough that they don’t know what the Moral Majority is/was, and they are in favor of morality.

More likely, they really approve of the Moral Majority and the Christian Coalition. These are scary folks! But they are good with guns, so they are not all bad.

Or it could be something else entirely. What makes you think I know anything?