A man was leaving the local café one morning when he noticed an ad on the bulletin board by the door that read:

Dog for Sale
Black mixed breed
Good watchdog
Loves children

He had been thinking about getting a dog for his kids, so he decided to check it out. He drove to the address on the ad, went to the door, and knocked.

“I’m here about the dog,” he said when the owner answered the door.

“Sure, he’s out back. Follow me.” He led the man to the back yard, where the dog was lying in the sun. Just as they were stepping through the back door, the phone rang.

“Excuse me,” said the owner, leaving the man in the yard with the dog. The dog hopped up and trotted toward him, wagging his tail. The man hunkered down and scratched his ears.

“You’re a nice dog, aren’t you?” he said. “Kind of old, though. I was looking for a younger dog.”

“Yeah, and I was hoping for a smarter owner, too,” said the dog. Astonished, the man stepped back.

“You can talk?” he stammered.

“Yep,” the dog replied.

“How’d you learn that?”

The dog settled back on his haunches, thought for a moment, and began, “Well, I discovered this gift pretty young, and really had some high expectations. I applied for work several places, including the military and NASA. Unfortunately, in spite of my unique talent, they turned me down. I suspect it was because of my mixed-breed background, but I can’t prove that. It was all for the best, though, because eventually I got connected with the CIA. In no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

I was one of their most valuable spies for years. But, the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So, I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”

The man was amazed. As the dog was finishing his story, his owner returned.

“How much for the dog?” the man asked, willing to pay almost any price.

The owner replied, “Fifty bucks.”

“But this dog is incredible! Why would you sell him so cheap? Why are you selling him at all?”

Shaking his head, the owner replied, “He’s such a liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff.”