Vice-president Dick Cheney shoots people. He shoots them, and then he tries to cover it up. If his latest victim had died, he would have buried the body in a shallow grave and no one would have been the wiser; or so one would think if he believed the news reports.

There was an accident. It seems that the failure to inform the press immediately is proof that Cheney, and therefore the Bush administration, and therefore the Republican Party, is bent on deceiving the nation, yea and verily, the entire world, AGAIN! My answer to the press is simple: It’s none of your business. It’s none of my business, either. It is Cheney’s business, and Harry Whittington’s business, and their friends’ and families’ business. It may be very interesting, and we may all be very curious, but that does not give us the right to poke our noses into a private near-tragedy. Why is the Vice-president expected to report a private matter to the press when no one else would be?

It is not our business, and it most definitely is not news. Hunting accidents happen all the time, although not nearly with the frequency of automobile accidents. The fact that a United States Vice-president was involved is not extraordinary, only interesting.

Some are pointing out that Cheney has not apologized. Really? How do they know? Because they haven’t heard him apologize into a microphone before the nation? I don’t need to hear him apologize. He didn’t shoot me. He didn’t shoot anyone in the press, either, although many of them certainly deserve it. The fact that Harry Whittington has said he is “sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this week” has been taken as an apology for getting shot, further villainizing the evil, power-mad politician who cares about nothing but manipulating the press and covering up his crime.

Cheney did what he was supposed to do: he informed doctors and law enforcement about the accident. No one else needed to know, and no one else needs to know now. If Cheney speaks to the press at all about this, it is a gift that they should thank him for. Instead, they act like it is their right to know. Personally, I would call a press conference just to tell them to mind their own business. I might even bring my shotgun.

Folks, the Vice-president is a man like any other. He has had an accident that I’m sure has shaken him as much as it would any of us. Leave him alone.

Spoiled brat media
What if Dick Cheney Hadn’t Stiffed the Press?