A man returned from a trip overseas feeling very ill. He went to see his doctor and was immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a series of tests. He was admitted to the hospital, gave a urine sample, and had blood drawn.

Several hours later, not only had he heard nothing, but no one had even come to check on him. He was about to step out of his room to inquire abot his status at the nurses station, when the phone rang. “This is your doctor,” said the voice on the phone. “We have the results back from your test and... I'm sorry, you have an extremely contagious deadly disease called ‘L.I.P.S’.”

“L.I.P.S.?” replies the man. “What in the world is that?”

“It's a combination of Leprosy, Impetigo, Pneumonia, and Smallpox,” explained the doctor. “It’s very rare.”

Panicking, the man asked, “what are we going to do?”

“Well, we're going to put you on a strict diet of pizza, pancakes, quesadillas and pita bread,” replied the doctor matter-of-factly.

“Will that cure me?”

“Well, no,” said the doctor, “but it's the only food that will fit under the door.”