Long ago a city was born. It was located on the eastern edge of Minnesota, and called Minneapolis. It was a city of renown, and people traveled there from all over the country, yea, even the world, to visit its attractions. Everyone knew where it was. Those who drove followed maps that directed them, by way of various state highways and interstate freeways, to that same location, which never moved, in southeastern Minnesota. Those who came by airline, train, or bus bought tickets indicating “Destination: Minneapolis, Minnesota.” Citizens of Minneapolis received mail addressed to Minneapolis, Minnesota and posted mail return addressed from Minneapolis, Minnesota. In short, that Minneapolis was located in Minnesota was well documented and undisputed.
Then one day, not so long ago, a group of cartographers began producing maps placing Minneapolis in Iowa. When the accuracy of those maps was challenged, they had only a few defenses.
“Interstate 35 runs through Iowa. Minneapolis is on Interstate 35. Furthermore, the alleged Minnesota location is only a short drive from Wisconsin, barely in Minnesota at all.”
Others who wished to defend the Original Maps confronted them with evidence — maps, travel tickets, mail — but the cartographers responded with reasons that Minneapolis, while technically situated in Minnesota, should be placed in Iowa.
“Iowa has milder weather and safer road conditions than Minnesota. If Minneapolis was in Iowa, it would have fewer traffic accidents; so again, while technically situated in Minnesota, it would be safer if it was in Iowa.”
Again, they were confronted with the evidence — maps, travel tickets, mail — but the cartographers were immovable.
“I had an uncle who went there once. He thought he could drive safely, but he ended up in getting killed in a wreck. Therefore, while technically situated in Minnesota, it would be wiser to put it in Iowa.”
“Minneapolis was originally incorporated in Iowa. The city people now call Minneapolis is, um, not Minneapolis.”
Wearily, the defenders of the Original Maps replied, “But Minneapolis is in Minnesota — always has been. Look at the evidence. In spite of all of your criticisms, Minneapolis in Minnesota, is a nice place. Look at all of its good features — The Twins, the Vikings, the Timberwolves, Minnehaha Park, Valley Fair, Bethlehem Baptist Church, several lakes . . . yes, there is the possible hazard of the Mall of America, but that is easily avoided. Did we also mention that Minneapolis is in Minnesota?”
The cartographers condescendingly replied, “After all we have told you about Minnesota, why do you want Minneapolis to be there? It seems as though you have a desire live dangerously. What makes that location so important to you? Could it be that you have a secret desire to drive on icy roads?”
The defenders of the Original Maps shook their heads and went home, sad that many people were ending up in Iowa when all they wanted was to see a Twins game and hear John Piper preach.
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3 Comments:
#1 || 06·08·11··10:11 || Nathan
That's funny. Like a disciple, though, I'm waiting for a moment to ask you privately what meaneth these things.
#2 || 06·08·11··22:21 || sibert
Okay, so how is Minneapolis like the Kingdom of Heaven?
#3 || 06·10·07··20:39 || Steven Long
I foundeth thy link on Waterless Places and readeth tnine parable of dislocated spaces. As legalists pry and Calvanists try, to defend their original cases. It pricketh mine ear so more I would hear, when again I will call on thy graces.
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