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| 2007·02·19 · 6 Comments |
| Christian Tolerance |
Once, when I was visiting at a cousin’s house, I overheard a conversation between my cousin and his father (my uncle). My cousin owns a service station/convenience store, and he had just hired someone whom his father judged to be of dubious character. My cousin commented, with a touch of irony, to this effect: “That’s true, but sometimes we have to accept the fact that everyone is not as wonderful as we are.”
A few years ago I was visiting with a good friend of mine when the subject of a mutual acquaintance came up. I made a somewhat snide comment about a particular character flaw in this individual, to which my friend replied, “Yeah, I know. That’s something I’ve had to ignore in order to remain friends with him.”
I present these two anecdotes as a lesson that has affected my thinking more than it should have. I say “more than it should have,” not because it is wrong, but because it is not particularly profound, and because I should already have been thinking along those lines. Instead, both of those occasions were epiphanies. Now perhaps you are thinking, “Man, you must have been a real jerk!” Well, yes, I was, and sometimes still am. It is not easy to tolerate faults in others, especially when they are so many. Verily, everyone is not as wonderful as I! Some people are irritating and downright stupid. Can anyone deny it? Yet, we must be forbearing.
I’m not talking about overlooking blatant sin, or lowering our “standards” (assuming those standards are Biblical); but we ought to be understanding and tolerant, knowing that we are not without our own faults. Ephesians 4 exhorts us to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love” (vv. 1-2), and to “be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (v. 32).
When my friend said, “Yeah, I know. That’s something I’ve had to ignore in order to remain friends with him,” I was instantly smitten with this thought: I wonder what he has had to overlook in order to remain friends with me?
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6 Comments:
Daniel
You would never guess it, but in person I gravitate towards a rather caustic wit. If there is a way to get a laugh out of making fun of someone or something - I excel at it. I was the life of many a party only because I was so good at making fun at someone else's expense. Thankfully, I made fun of pretty much everyone, so whatever hurtful things I may have said, were eventually seen as impersonal and just my sense of humor.
I used to warn people that it took a couple of years to get used to my sense of humor - but once they were used to it, they would love it. I wasn't kidding either - once my friends finally understood that I wasn't really as mean spirited as my sense of humor suggested - they loved my sense of humor... or so I thought.
One day I suddenly realized that it wasn't that it took them years to understand my sense of humor - rather it was that it took years to overlook it.
Humbling that was.
Joe Holland
Man, this one has broken me over and over again. I always tell folks that I'm the most arrogant person they've ever met. I say that halfway joking and halfway heart broken over it. The most recent prick to my conscious on this issue, other than this post, was Edwards' 8th resolution: Resolved, to act, in all respects, both speaking and doing, as if nobody had been so vile as I, and as if I had committed the same sins, or had the same infirmities or failings as others; and that I will let the knowledge of their failings promote nothing but shame in myself, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God. Ouch! Thanks for the reminder that we are all truly the chief(s) of sinners.
Garry Weaver
This reminds me of a similar incident in my past. I traveled some with a well known IFB pastor/evangelist/camp director when I was a younger preacher. Once we were in the car with another preacher with whom, I began to "humbly" mention the short-comings and compromises of yet another preacher.After a short while, the pastor/evangelist said "Brother Weaver, will you lead us in prayer for that brother?" OUCH!
Amy Scott
Saw this on Piper's blog (What?! Piper has stooped to blogging?!) today; you probably did too:
"Focusing on forgiving and forbearing might give the impression that none of our sinful traits or annoying idiosyncrasies ever changes. So all we can do is forgive and forbear. What I plan to show from the Bible this coming weekend is that God gives grace not only to forgive and to forbear, but also to change so that less forgiving and forbearing are needed. That too is a gift of grace. Grace is not just power to return good for evil, but also power to do less evil. Even power to be less bothersome."
Amy Scott
Saw this on Piper's blog (What?! Piper has stooped to blogging?!) today; you probably did too:
"Focusing on forgiving and forbearing might give the impression that none of our sinful traits or annoying idiosyncrasies ever changes. So all we can do is forgive and forbear. What I plan to show from the Bible this coming weekend is that God gives grace not only to forgive and to forbear, but also to change so that less forgiving and forbearing are needed. That too is a gift of grace. Grace is not just power to return good for evil, but also power to do less evil. Even power to be less bothersome."
Jonathan Moorhead
Funny, I keep telling my wife the same thing about myself.
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