If there is any doubt left that I am a nerd, this post should take care of it. I like math. It’s not that I’m especially good at it, I just like it. I like the absoluteness of it. 2 + 2 = 4, √25 = 5, the area of a circle is πr2, and there is nothing the postmoderns can do about it. I also like limericks. In fact, I love limericks. So this post displays all kinds of nerdy goodness about me. These are a few math limericks I’ve collected.

An algebra teacher named Drew
Tried to find the √2.
He found it between
¼ and 14,
But couldn't get closer. Can you?

There was an old man who said, “Do
Tell me how I should add two and two.
I think more and more
That it makes about four—
But I fear that is almost too few.”

A mathematician confided
That a Moebius band is one-sided.
And you'll get quite a laugh
If you cut one in half,
For it stays in one piece when divided.

There was a young student from Rye,
Who worked out the value of π.
“It happens,” said he,
“That it's just over 3,
Though I'd rather you don't ask me why.”

If inside of a circle a line
Hits the center and goes spine to spine
And the line’s length is “d”,
The circumference will be
d times 3.14159.

There was a young lady named Bright
whose speed was much greater than light.
So she set out one day,
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

The Professor said, “Now I'll tell you
A fact known to only a few
Men and women alive.
Two plus two equals five!
(For large enough values of two.)”

This is my favorite, credited to John Saxon, the author of our math textbooks:

A Dozen, a Gross, and a Score,
plus three times the square root of four,
divided by seven,
plus five times eleven,
equals nine squared and not a bit more.

Here’s one for you to solve:

There once was a woman from Dundee,
Whose age had the last digit three.
If her whole age reversed
Is the square of the first,
Then what must the woman’s age be?

I reioyced, when they sayd to me, We wil go into the house of the Lord. Psalme 122:1 (Geneva Bible)

HYMN II               8,8,8,8
CAIN and ABEL. Gen iv. 3—8
by John Newton (1725-1807)

hen Adam fell he quickly lost
God’s image, which he once possessed:
See All our nature since could boast
In Cain, his first-born Son, expressed!

The sacrifice the Lord ordained
In type of the Redeemer’s blood,
Self–righteous reas’ning Cain disdained,
And thought his own first-fruits as good.

Yet rage and envy filled his mind,
When, with a fallen, downcast look,
He saw his brother favor find,
Who God’s appointed method took.

By Cain’s own hand, good Abel died,
Because the Lord approved his faith;
And, when his blood for vengeance cried,
He vainly thought to hide his death.

Such was the wicked murd’rer Cain,
And such by nature still are we,
Until by grace we’re born again,
Malicious, blind and proud, as he.

Like him the way of grace we slight,
And in our own devices trust;
Call evil good, and darkness light,
And hate and persecute the just.

The saints, in every age and place,
Have found this history fulfilled;
The numbers all our thoughts surpass
Of Abels, whom the Cains have killed!

Thus Jesus fell—but O! his blood
Far better things than Abel’s cries:
Obtains his murd’rers peace with God,
And gains them mansions in the skies.

From Olney Hymns. Book I: On select Passages of Scripture.

salme 80 (Geneva Bible)
To him that excelleth on Shoshannim Eduth. A Psalme committed to Asaph.

1 Heare, O thou Shepheard of Israel, thou that leadest Ioseph like sheepe: shewe thy brightnes, thou that sittest betweene the Cherubims.
2 Before Ephraim and Beniamin and Manasseh stirre vp thy strength, and come to helpe vs.
3 Turne vs againe, O God, and cause thy face to shine that we may be saued.
4 O Lord God of hostes, how long wilt thou be angrie against the prayer of thy people?
5 Thou hast fedde them with the bread of teares, and giuen them teares to drinke with great measure.
6 Thou hast made vs a strife vnto our neighbours, and our enemies laugh at vs among themselues.
7 Turne vs againe, O God of hostes: cause thy face to shine, and we shalbe saued.
8 Thou hast brought a vine out of Egypt: thou hast cast out the heathen, and planted it.
9 Thou madest roume for it, and didest cause it to take roote, and it filled the land.
10 The mountaines were couered with the shadowe of it, and the boughes thereof were like the goodly cedars.
11 Shee stretched out her branches vnto the Sea, and her boughes vnto the Riuer.
12 Why hast thou then broken downe her hedges, so that all they, which passe by the way, haue plucked her?
13 The wilde bore out of the wood hath destroyed it, and the wilde beastes of the fielde haue eaten it vp.
14 Returne we beseech thee, O God of hostes: looke downe from heauen and beholde and visite this vine,
15 And the vineyard, that thy right hand hath planted, and the young vine, which thou madest strong for thy selfe.
16 It is burnt with fire and cut downe: and they perish at the rebuke of thy countenance.
17 Let thine hande be vpon the man of thy right hande, and vpon the sonne of man, whome thou madest strong for thine owne selfe.
18 So will not we goe backe from thee: reuiue thou vs, and we shall call vpon thy Name.
19 Turne vs againe, O Lord God of hostes: cause thy face to shine and we shalbe saued.

ermons Albert Mohler Alistair Begg Bret Capranica David Legge David Strain

Jason Robertson John MacArthur John Piper Mark Loughridge Michael Beasley Paul Lamey

Paul W. Martin Phil Johnson Phillip M. Way R.C. Sproul Steve Weaver Thabiti Abyabwile

Grace be with you, and Peace from God our Father, and from the Lorde Jesus Christ.

   What if we were to cling to the idea — so firmly planted in our heads that we seem to have been born with it — that if we suffer affliction in the world we can never really be blessed? If that were the case, which of us would not run a mile from the Lord Jesus Christ or willingly consent to be his disciple, even supposing we accepted his teaching and hailed him as God’s Son who calls us to himself? In that case we might well say, ‘Yes, but surely he knows our weakness and frailty? Why should he not put up with us as we are?’ Each one of us would take our shoulder from the wheel if we truly held the idea — deeply rooted, as I said — that blessedness is only for those who are comfortable and at ease.
   That is why our Lord preached as he does here to his disciples, demonstrating that that our happiness and blessedness do not come from the world’s applause, of from the enjoyment of wealth, honors, gratification and pleasure. On the contrary, we may be utterly oppressed, in tears and weeping, persecuted and to all appearances ruined: none of that affects our standing or diminishes our happiness. Why? Because we have in view the ultimate outcome. That is what Christ would have us remember, so as to correct the false ideas we feed upon and which so muddle our thinking that we cannot accept his yoke. He reminds us that we must look further ahead and consider the outcome of our afflictions, our tears in the persecutions we suffer and the insults we bear. When once we see how God turns all of that to good and to our salvation, we may conclude that blessing will assuredly be ours, however contrary such things to our nature.

—John Calvin, Sermons on the Beatitudes (Banner of Truth Trust, 2006), 20.

On the odd chance that anyone has noticed, I have not been posting much in the last couple of weeks. I've been occupied with a few other things, one of which your tired eyes might appreciate. I'm working on a new template for the blog. I've gone through several ideas and discarded them, but I think I've settled on one that I will actually complete. It's going to be an entirely new theme, trimmed down and prettier. After 2½ years, it will be the first total makeover I've done. So look for The Thirsty Theologian 2.0, coming soon (soon being a relative term).

I reioyced, when they sayd to me, We wil go into the house of the Lord. Psalme 122:1 (Geneva Bible)

The God of Spirits Sought
by Phillip Doddridge (1702–1751)

ather of spirits, from Thy hand,
Our soul immortal came;
And still Thine energy divine
Supports the’ethereal flame.

By Thee our spirits all are known;
And each remotest thought
Lies wide expanded to His eye,
By whom their pow’rs were wrought.

To Thee, when mortal comforts fail,
The flock deserted flies
And, on the eternal Shepherd’s care,
Our cheerful hope relies.

When o’er Thy faithful servant’s dust,
Thy dear assemblies mourn,
In speedy tokens of Thy grace,
O Israel’s God, return.

The pow’rs of nature all are Thine,
And Thine the aids of grace;
Thine arm has borne Thy churches up
Through every rising race.

Exert Thy sacred influence here,
And here Thy suppliants bless,
And change, to strains of cheerful praise,
Their accents of distress.

With faithful heart, with skilful hand,
May this Thy flock be fed;
And with a steady growing pace,
To Zion’s mountain led.

—from Worthy Is the Lamb (Soli Deo Gloria, 2004).

salme 87 (Geneva Bible)
A Psalme or song committed to the sonnes of Korah.

1 God layde his foundations among the holy mountaines.
2 The Lord loueth the gates of Zion aboue all the habitations of Iaakob.
3 Glorious things are spoken of thee, O citie of God. Selah.
4 I will make mention of Rahab and Babel among them that knowe me: beholde Palestina and Tyrus with Ethiopia, There is he borne.
5 And of Zion it shall be sayde, Many are borne in her: and he, euen the most High shall stablish her.
6 The Lord shall count, when hee writeth the people, He was borne there. Selah.
7 Aswell the singers as the players on instruments shall prayse thee: all my springs are in thee.

ermons Albert Mohler Alistair Begg Bret Capranica David Legge David Strain

Jason Robertson John MacArthur John Piper Mark Loughridge Michael Beasley Paul Lamey

Paul W. Martin Phil Johnson Phillip M. Way R.C. Sproul Steve Weaver Thabiti Abyabwile

Grace be with you, and Peace from God our Father, and from the Lorde Jesus Christ.

I'm taking a break from not blogging today to send congratulations to a couple of bloggers who have been blessed with additions to their families. As you may know, I like babies. I've never had one myself, but my wife has. I would encourage you to have babies too, if your sex and marital status are amenable to it.

Bob Hayton didn't have a baby, but his wife did — about three weeks ago, actually, so these congratulations are belated.

Amy Scott did, also.

Congratulations to you and your families, and may grace be multiplied to you as well.

I reioyced, when they sayd to me, We wil go into the house of the Lord. Psalme 122:1 (Geneva Bible)

PETITIONARY HYMNS
POEM I
Augustus Toplady (1740–1778)

efining Fuller, make me clean,
On me thy costly pearl bestow:
Thou art thyself the pearl I prize,
The only joy I seek below.

Disperse the clouds that damp my soul,
And make my heart unfit for thee:
Cast me not off, but seal me now
Thine own peculiar property.

Look on the wounds of Christ for me,
My sentence graciously reprieve:
Extend thy peaceful sceptre, Lord,
And bid the dying traitor live.

Tho’ I’ve transgress’d the rules prescribd,
And dar’d the justice I adore,
Yet let thy smiling mercy say,
Depart in peace, and sin no more.

—The Complete Works of Augustus Toplady (Sprinkle Publications, 1987).

salme 94 (Geneva Bible)

1 O Lord God the auenger, O God the auenger, shewe thy selfe clearely.
2 Exalt thy selfe, O Iudge of the worlde, and render a reward to the proude.
3 Lord how long shall the wicked, how long shall the wicked triumph?
4 They prate and speake fiercely: all the workers of iniquitie vaunt themselues.
5 They smite downe thy people, O Lord, and trouble thine heritage.
6 They slay the widowe and the stranger, and murder the fatherlesse.
7 Yet they say, The Lord shall not see: neither will the God of Iaakob regard it.
8 Vnderstande ye vnwise among the people: and ye fooles, when will ye be wise?
9 Hee that planted the eare, shall hee not heare? or he that formed the eye, shall he not see?
10 Or he that chastiseth the nations, shall he not correct? hee that teacheth man knowledge, shall he not knowe?
11 The Lord knoweth the thoughtes of man, that they are vanitie.
12 Blessed is the man, whom thou chastisest, O Lord, and teachest him in thy Lawe,
13 That thou mayest giue him rest from the dayes of euill, whiles the pitte is digged for the wicked.
14 Surely the Lord will not faile his people, neither will he forsake his inheritance.
15 For iudgement shall returne to iustice, and all the vpright in heart shall follow after it.
16 Who will rise vp with me against the wicked? or who will take my part against the workers of iniquitie?
17 If the Lord had not holpen me, my soule had almost dwelt in silence.
18 When I said, My foote slideth, thy mercy, O Lord, stayed me.
19 In the multitude of my thoughts in mine heart, thy comfortes haue reioyced my soule.
20 Hath the throne of iniquitie fellowship with thee, which forgeth wrong for a Lawe?
21 They gather them together against the soule of the righteous, and condemne the innocent blood.
22 But the Lord is my refuge, and my God is the rocke of mine hope.
23 And hee will recompence them their wickednes, and destroy them in their owne malice: yea, the Lord our God shall destroy them.

ermons Albert Mohler Alistair Begg Bret Capranica David Legge David Strain

Jason Robertson John MacArthur John Piper Mark Loughridge Michael Beasley Paul Lamey

Paul W. Martin Phil Johnson Phillip M. Way R.C. Sproul Steve Weaver Thabiti Abyabwile

Grace be with you, and Peace from God our Father, and from the Lorde Jesus Christ.

Walter Chantry on the supremacy of God’s Word and prayer over reading circumstances in knowing God’s will:

Reading the Future by Providence

   Many who lived during David’s era were quite aware that the Almighty manages all things on the earth and all things in human affairs. In David’s time it was as it is today. Those who have a doctrine of divine providence often attempt to read divine intent for the future through unfolding circumstances, all of which are under God’s control, or through opportunities set before them by the Lord’s governing of our world.
   When Keilah fell under attack from the Philistines, David’s men feared that responding to help the people of that city would provide Saul with a golden opportunity to capture David and his small band. Since Keilah was so close to the border of Philistia, and therefore, since it faced constant raids from Israel’s arch-foe, the city had built defensive walls. If David and his men entered a walled city, so they reasoned, they would be trapped. Saul would then hasten from Gibeah and seize them all. It was for this reason that David’s army preferred to remain in the open wilderness where numerous routes of escape were their protection. Providence dictated, it seemed to them, that they decline to help Keilah.
   David reasoned differently and inquired of the Lord as to what his will was (1 Sam. 23:2-5). Through Gad the prophet, and through the Urim and Thummim in Abiathar’s possession, David could entreat God and hear his word in response. Thus did David rise above guesses as to God’s intentions from the mere observation of providence. For him, prayer and ‘Thus saith the Lord’ would guide all decisions. So must we seek to know God’s will by prayer and by the searching of his Word as we make decisions for the future.
   After David and his forces delivered Keilah from the Philistines, Saul indeed did hear that the brave men of Jesse’s son were in the fortress of Keilah. Reading providence only, Saul concluded, ‘God has given him into my hand, for he has shut himself in by entering a town that has gates and bars’ (1 Sam. 23:7). Not unaware of their danger, and employing informers, David knew when ‘Saul summoned all the people to war, to go down to Keilah, to besiege David and his men’ (1 Sam. 23:8). Again he sought by prayer and by inquiring of God to know what he should do. God told him that Saul was on his way. He further told David that, in the face of overwhelming numbers, and in the face of their rightful king’s demand, Keilah’s elders would deliver David and his men into Saul’s hand. Then, and only then, did David and his men depart in haste.
   As we have seen, when David was in the region of Engedi (1 Sam. 24), Saul entered a cave, unaware that David and his men were hidden in this very cavern. David’s men, reading the providence of God, said, ‘Here is the day of which the LORD said to you, “Behold, I will give your enemy into your hand”’(i Sam. 24:4). The opportunity was there to kill Saul and to seize the kingdom after the assassination. How many presume that God wants us to act in a certain way because there is an unexpected opportunity to do so!
   David did not need Gad, nor did he need the Urim and Thummim, to tell him what God’s will was. He knew, as well as we, that, ‘the governing authorities . . . that exist have been instituted by God’ (Rom. 13:1). He spoke of their advice as bad counsel, ‘to put out my hand against him, seeing he is the LORD’S anointed’ (1 Sam. 24:7). On principle, received from the Word of God, he refused to seize his ‘opportunity’ against Saul.
   How often are we met with flippant comments like, ‘The Lord showed me’, or, ‘I was led of the Lord’! Often, by these slogans men and women mean, ‘I have glanced at providence; I have read circumstances through the lenses of my personal optimism or pessimism, and with my personal wishes near at hand.’ It is possible to use the above phrases if by them we mean, ‘I have prayed for God’s guidance and I have found these principles in his Word which give light to my path.’
   Providence does inform us of God’s having acted in the past. It is far less yielding of information about the future will of God. If God’s Word informs us of God’s ways, how much we can see of his hand at work in our own lives! How many praises we should give for surprising deliverances and unexpected grace! We should sharpen our sensitivity to our God’s omnipresence. One of its major evidences is his control and meaningful direction in every circumstance of our lives.

—Walter J. Chantry, David: Man of Prayer, Man of War (Edinburgh, Banner of Truth Trust, 2007), 82–84.

I was going to wait at least until after Thanksgiving to post this, but Dan Phillips asked “What are the best Christmas albums, ever?” Which Messiah, and why? So these are my recommendations.

I haven’t listened to many different Messiah productions, but of those I have, I like this one best. Why? I just do. I’m not aficionado enough to go into all the nuances of nuance — “Well, Dan, it has a robust bouquet and tantalizes the palate with hints of elderberry and currants” — I just like it best.

I’m in need of some new Christmas music myself. These are probably not “the best Christmas albums, ever”, but here are some of my favorites:

Christopher Parkening & Kathleen Battle, Angels’ Glory. I believe the sopranos in Heaven’s choir sound like Kathleen Battle, and Christopher Parkening’s guitar rivals any angel’s harp. Maybe I exaggerate. Or maybe not.

Dallas Brass, Christmas Brass. I’m sure there are other Christmas brass albums equal to or better than this (like this one by the Westminster Brass, for example), but I’ve got this one, and I like it.

Joni Eareckson Tada, John MacArthur, Robert & Bobbie Wolgemuth, O Come, All Ye Faithful. This is one of four hymn albums done with The Master’s College Choral. Each comes with a hardcover book of historical sketches and meditations on the hymns it contains.

Joni Eareckson Tada & Bobbie Wolgemuth, Christmas Carols for a Kid’s Heart. Similar to the previous album, this is one of four, also accompanied by a hardcover book. These are some of the best children’s productions I’ve heard.

Charlotte Church, Dream a Dream. I like this one in spite of the Ave Maria.

California Guitar Trio, Christmas Album. This one is fun for anyone who likes the guitar. It includes a couple of stupid songs, but since it’s all instrumental — nobody sings — they’re still enjoyable.

Nat King Cole, The Christmas Song. He’s Nat King Cole. Need I say More? This man sang. Not like what commonly passes for singing in pop music today. No moaning, groaning, whining, growling, yelling, screaming, . . . Just clear singing with the beautiful voice God gave him. And enunciation! He obviously believed vowels and consonants had fixed phonetic values. So do I; because they do.

However, to prove I’m not completely rigid in my standards, I also like:

Stan Boreson & Doug Setterberg, Yust Go Nuts at Christmas. If you weren’t raised among early twentieth-century second and third-generation Scandinavian-Americans as I was, you probably can’t appreciate this one. You’ll probably just think it’s stupid. Well, actually, it is stupid. Here’s a sample.

Do you have any recommendations for me?

I reioyced, when they sayd to me, We wil go into the house of the Lord. Psalme 122:1 (Geneva Bible)

THE SAVIOUR

Thou God of all grace,

hou hast given me a Saviour,
produce in me a faith to live by him,
to make him all my desire,
all my hope,
all my glory.
May I enter him as my refuge,
build on him as my foundation,
walk in him as my way,
follow him as my guide,
conform him as my guide,
conform to him as my example,
receive his instruction as my prophet,
rely on his intercession as my high priest,
obey him as my king.
May I never be ashamed of him or his words,
but joyfully bear his reproach,
never displease him by unholy
or imprudent conduct,
never count it a glory if I take it patiently
when buffeted for a fault,
never make the multitude my model,
never delay when thy Word invites me
to advance.
May they dear Son preserve me
from this present evil world,
so that its smiles never allure,
nor its frowns terrify,
nor its vices defile,
nor its errors delude me.
May I feel that I am a stranger and a pilgrim
on earth,
declaring plainly that I seek a country,
my title to it becoming daily more clear,
my meetness for it more perfect,
my foretastes of it more abundant;
and whatsoever I do may it be done
in the Saviour’s name.

—from The Valley of Vision, Arthur Bennett, editor (Banner of Truth Trust, 2002).

salme 101
(Geneva Bible)
A Psalme of David.
1 I will sing mercie and iudgement: vnto thee, O Lord, will I sing.
2 I will doe wisely in the perfite way, till thou commest to me: I will walke in the vprightnes of mine heart in the middes of mine house.
3 I wil set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the worke of them that fall away: it shall not cleaue vnto me.
4 A froward heart shall depart from me: I will knowe none euill.
5 Him that priuily slandereth his neighbour, wil I destroy: him that hath a proude looke and hie heart, I cannot suffer.
6 Mine eyes shalbe vnto the faithfull of the lande, that they may dwell with me: he that walketh in a perfite way, he shall serue me.
7 There shall no deceitful person dwell within mine house: he that telleth lyes, shall not remaine in my sight.
8 Betimes will I destroy all the wicked of the land, that I may cut off all the workers of iniquitie from the Citie of the Lord.

ermons Albert Mohler Alistair Begg Bret Capranica David Legge David Strain

Jason Robertson John MacArthur John Piper Mark Loughridge Michael Beasley Paul Lamey

Paul W. Martin Phil Johnson Phillip M. Way R.C. Sproul Steve Weaver Thabiti Abyabwile

Grace be with you, and Peace from God our Father, and from the Lorde Jesus Christ.

For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. (Psalm 51:3).

It has been a long time since I have written anything. I have been doing a lot of personal reflection, and the result is this: I am a sinner, a condition from which I cannot escape. Augustine wrote, “For too little doth he love Thee, who loves any thing with Thee, which he loveth not for Thee.” I wrote on this some time ago, concluding that “I hate too little anything that I hate not for God’s sake.” This has been weighing heavily on my heart for some time now. As I examine myself, I find in my best attitudes and actions only sin. Truly, “all [my] righteousnesses are as filthy rags.”

I can hardly bear to read the books I love, for in everything I see the glaring contrast between what should be and what is. Even — or, I should say, especially — Scripture is difficult, a knife to my heart.

I know I have been given a new nature, but my flesh still clings to me, and I am so tired of carrying this rotting corps around. It is an unbearable burden, and I long for the day when I will at last be free of it.

Have I been engaging in sinful activities that would shock any of you? No, I have not; but in everything I do, no matter how good and noble, I see me. I cannot perform any good that is devoid of self. I realize that it is right and good to take pleasure in doing good, but I wonder — would I do anything good for God or man if their was no personal pleasure in it? I can’t see that I would. I do good because it, or what results from it, gives me pleasure, or saves me from the unpleasant consequences of not doing it. I avoid sin because of the misery it causes me. Me, me, me! Always me!

O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? (Romans 7:24).

All I can do is to throw myself at the foot of the cross and cry, “Here I am! Wretched, sinful, filthy, unworthy of love, mercy, and grace!” and take comfort in the fact — and it is surely a fact! — that when God looks upon me, he sees only the perfect righteousness of Christ. He does not see my sin, for it was put to death as Christ was “made to be sin for us.”

I know the day is coming “when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption,” and all that I do will spring from the righteous motives of a pure heart. Oh, for the day when that future hope will become the present reality!