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2007·11·27 · 4 Comments |
| My Sin! |
For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. (Psalm 51:3).
It has been a long time since I have written anything. I have been doing a lot of personal reflection, and the result is this: I am a sinner, a condition from which I cannot escape. Augustine wrote, “For too little doth he love Thee, who loves any thing with Thee, which he loveth not for Thee.” I wrote on this some time ago, concluding that “I hate too little anything that I hate not for God’s sake.” This has been weighing heavily on my heart for some time now. As I examine myself, I find in my best attitudes and actions only sin. Truly, “all [my] righteousnesses are as filthy rags.”
I can hardly bear to read the books I love, for in everything I see the glaring contrast between what should be and what is. Even — or, I should say, especially — Scripture is difficult, a knife to my heart.
I know I have been given a new nature, but my flesh still clings to me, and I am so tired of carrying this rotting corps around. It is an unbearable burden, and I long for the day when I will at last be free of it.
Have I been engaging in sinful activities that would shock any of you? No, I have not; but in everything I do, no matter how good and noble, I see me. I cannot perform any good that is devoid of self. I realize that it is right and good to take pleasure in doing good, but I wonder — would I do anything good for God or man if their was no personal pleasure in it? I can’t see that I would. I do good because it, or what results from it, gives me pleasure, or saves me from the unpleasant consequences of not doing it. I avoid sin because of the misery it causes me. Me, me, me! Always me!
O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? (Romans 7:24).
All I can do is to throw myself at the foot of the cross and cry, “Here I am! Wretched, sinful, filthy, unworthy of love, mercy, and grace!” and take comfort in the fact — and it is surely a fact! — that when God looks upon me, he sees only the perfect righteousness of Christ. He does not see my sin, for it was put to death as Christ was “made to be sin for us.”
I know the day is coming “when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption,” and all that I do will spring from the righteous motives of a pure heart. Oh, for the day when that future hope will become the present reality!
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4 Comments:
Johnny T. Helms
Amen. My sin I hate, God's grace I love.
Craig Johnson
Yes, our hearts are deceitful and desperately wicked! I've been reading Pipers' 'Fifty Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die.' As I read each chapter/reason, I am considering my specific sins in light of Christ's death. It has made me hate my sin more! It has made me love Christ more! Praise Him for our redemption from the penalty and power of our sin.
donsandsd
"I am so tired of carrying this rotting corps around."
It stinketh.
Thanks for sharing your heart. It helps.
I go along every day with sins of pride and lusts. I war against the Spirit daily.
Some days are better than others, but it's always sin crouching at my heart's door.
Jesus crushed Satan's head, and He took sin, our sin, every sin, and He became sin. Our sins are as far as the East is from the West removed from us.
The geunine born again believer, will love this truth, and will love Christ, ans life will be precious, because Christ died for us.
Every now and then I sin a sin that is not your every day typical sin, and that causes me to fall under greater conviction, then my daily sins.
I repent, confess, and by His grace move on. And the thing is, there are consequences for sin in this life, and that's just reaping what we sow.
Being a Christian has great joy, and great sorrow as well.
Thanks again for sharing, and allowing others to come here and share.
It's good for the soul, and for the mind.
Susan
Bingo.
This is exactly where I've been for quite some time. And it angers and frustrates me.
On one hand, I "feel" like I'm not "doing" it right - not walking in the Spirit. Walking more in my corruptible flesh.
On the other hand, I'm moving more toward a state of gazing continually upon Christ. Trying not to move my eyes from Him.
Because every time I look at myself (and it is all too often), the less I see my life hidden in Him and the more I think something of my life depends on me. Looking at myself, I look more toward what I'm "doing" or not "doing" - my own "efforts," which done in the flesh, are worth nothing.
So I'm moving (albeit at a snail's pace, it seems) toward keeping my eyes on Him. That seems to help. I think then, too, it will be more clear to me when what I "do" (or "be") will be in the Spirit.
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