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Language Fail

A Curmudgeon’s Rant for the New Year
or, Linguistic Perversions the New Year Can Do Without
or, Linguistic Perversions without Which the New Year Can Do
or, Why Do You Hate the English Language?
or, Shut up before I rip your tongue out!

so i was like thinking about stuff that really annoys me or whatever, and I was like, wow. just, wow. people today are like so inarticulate. it’s like . . . yeah. i mean, what part of you sound like an illiterate boob don’t you understand? i’m listening, and i’m like, whoa, dude! is english your first language or . . . yeah. the abuse of language totally sickens me. it’s like, i think i just threw up in my mouth a little. it literally turns me inside out. just. stop. it. now. i get up and from the get-go, it’s like, twenty-four-seven, all i hear is like, whatever, you know? these dudes think they sound cool, but at the end of the day,

<span style="language: english;">people like me no longer take them seriously or are interested in whatever it is they want to say. </span>

and by the way: “fail” is a verb. just sayin’.

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