Every now and then — quite often, actually — something annoys me to the point of earning a good rant. I’ve been thinking about this one for some time now, but a post last week got me thinking about it even more. That post dealt with relationship, specifically the relationship between God and man.

Today I want to talk about another kind of relationship, one that has only recently been invented. I think it first caught my attention a few years ago during one of Jerry Seinfeld’s standup routines. “When you’re in a relationship,” he began, and then proceeded to make some entertaining comment about something humorous regarding male-female interaction. The phrase immediately struck me as odd. It had weird vagueness about it, something familiar yet alien. What only a few decades earlier would have been a husband-wife joke was now . . . something else. In a relationship? What in the world can that mean? After all, I’m in relationships with

• God
• My wife
• My children
• Extended family members
• My church
• Friends and other acquaintances
• Bankers and various other businesses
• The mailman, garbage collectors, etc.
• The cat

Obviously, “in a relationship” is meaningless — which is no accident. “In a relationship” is now common parlance for “I’m ‘going steady,’ but since I’m an adult (or at least I ought to be) and am taking full advantage of the carnal pleasures reserved for marriage, I need a more adult-sounding description for my behavior.” It’s a relationship that’s all about getting, with minimal commitment required. That non-binding attribute is essential, and the vague description serves to maintain it. It’s a meaningless description for a meaningless relationship.

Let me suggest to you now that any relationship you’re in — thinking specifically about romantically-inclined male-female relationships — that doesn’t expect permanence, the object of which is not marriage, is unbiblical, and therefore immoral.

Facebook offers several relationship statuses:

• Single
• In a Relationship
• Engaged
• Married
• It’s Complicated
• In an Open Relationship
• Widowed

The Bible’s list is shorter:

• Single
• Betrothed
• Married
• Widowed

If you made your own list, which would it most resemble? If asked for your “status,” how would you answer? “In a relationship” will not do.