By “romance,” I mean the romantic story as found in books and film. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. Gina Dalfonzo (a writer unknown to me, so I can’t vouch for her work in general) gets it right when she writes Why Sex Ruins TV Romances (HT: Challies).
Not too long ago, the Mrs. and I watched Letters to Juliet, another of those insipid romances that slips in here occasionally when I let my guard down.
The story begins with Sophie and Victor, a de rigueur shacked-up-not-married-but-engaged couple heading to Italy on a “pre-honeymoon” — that’s right, a let’s-have-sex-in-a-romantic-remote-setting vacation as a prelude to the wedding. Victor, the demi-man half of the couple, is a chef who is in the process of opening a high-class restaurant, and is very entertainingly passionate about his food and wine. The trip to Italy is, for him, not only a romantic getaway, but a reconnaissance mission for his business. In fact, as it turns out, the pursuit of wine and cheese quickly eclipses the “pre-honeymoon.” This, as you can imagine, frustrates Sophie. And this is where I found it necessary to break in with a rant.
“What does she expect?” I asked. “They’ve been shacked up for who knows how long. She’s already given him everything she’s got, and she expects to go to an exotic location, surrounded by all the stuff — the not-her stuff, that is — that he loves, and be the center of attention? The honeymoon was over long ago. There’s nothing new left, nothing unknown to discover. She sold herself cheaply, and expects the price to go up after the sale. . . . [etc. and so on].”
If you’ve seen the movie, you know that the real romance involves another couple, Claire and Lorenzo, who have to wait a very long time to consummate their love. A very long time. And that wait is what makes the romance romantic, and the ending so sweet. In fact, without the wait, there is no story.
Which is why I say that romance in modern media is largely dead. The honeymoon has taken place long before the wedding (if there is a wedding at all). There is no wait, no longing, no anticipation. When dessert has been served, and then the vegetables arrive, who cares? As Dalfonzo concludes, “Apparently it wasn’t enough that the culture of casual sex has done so much to deprive us of good real-life role models; it had to take away all the good love stories, too.”
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