It has become increasingly difficult to have a serious, adult conversation these days. One can hardly say what he means and mean what he says anymore without hurting someone’s oh-so-sensitive feelings. If a defining characteristic of a grown-up is the ability to give, receive, and understand straight talk — and it is — then grown-ups are in short supply these days. This is true in the real world, and it’s true in the Never Land of the internet. Some folks seem to make it their business to troll blog comments and make sure no one is being too dogmatic or failing to preface every opinion with an insipid “IMHO,” and appending the desultory smiley accompanying an insecure “just a thought” or “just my two cents.” These people may accurately and properly be derided as the “tone police.”
I know such people exist. Blog comments are filled with their whining. I know, because I frequently, and ruthlessly, delete them. I find these people utterly intolerable. Sadly, however, they are not alone in their sin. Newton’s Third Law of Motion is as true in metaphysics as in physics: for every sin, there is an opposite, and equally sinful, reaction. Playing in the same cat-abused sandbox are those who refuse to consider any challenge to their attitudes and methods of expression. They cling tenaciously to their imaginary right to say anything they want, any way they want, and pity the fool who dares to criticize them. That unfortunate individual will not receive a polite, humble, reasonable answer, either admitting fault, or explaining why the particular offensive item was justified. No, instead they will be dismissively mocked with the epithet, “Tone police!” even if their criticism has nothing to do with tone and everything to do with content.
As I have said, those individuals exist who are as sensitive as a baby’s bottom and break out in a rash when exposed to any kind of straight, critical language. They deserve no defense, and will get none here. But whenever you encounter the mocking reaction of “Ooh, the tone police are here!” you can be sure you have met a proud, unteachable person. Those who are humble, teachable, and mature don’t react in such a sophomoric fashion, not even to the genuine “tone police” who deserve it. With prudence, they choose either to 1) ignore it, 2) respond firmly but politely* before employing choice #1, or 3) reconsider the wisdom of their ways and change course or continue forward, respectful of and grateful to the brother or sister who challenged them. The mature, civilized response — the Christian response — is never, “Tone police, tone police, neener, neener, neener!”
So don’t do that.
Unless you want to create the image of a playground bully or, at best, that cool guy in high school or one of his minions.
* “Politely” does not exclude straight talk, or the prudent, restrained use of satire and sarcasm. It does mean maintaining a mature restraint, limiting oneself to what should be said, rather than letting loose with what one would dearly like to say, or even what the target might deserve to hear.
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