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Going Nuts


A man left work early one day to get a haircut. Afterwards, it was still a little early, so he decided to stop for bit of refreshment on the way home. He walked across the street to a bar, sat down, and took off his hat.

“Nice haircut,” someone said.

“Thanks,” he replied.

“Thanks for what? You haven’t ordered yet.” said the bartender.

“Didn’t you just . . . ? Oh, never mind. Give me a beer.” He scooped up a few peanuts from a bowl on the bar.

A few sips, and he heard, “Love the tie!” He looked quickly behind him. No one was there. In fact, he was the only one in the bar. Strange, he thought. He scooped up a few more peanuts.

“Hey, that’s a nice-looking watch! Is it a Rolex?” That same voice again, and no one in sight! Now he was getting nervous.

“Hey, bartender!” he called. The bartender appeared from the back room. “Is there someone else in this bar?”

“Just you, sir. It’s been slow all afternoon. It’s still early, though,” he replied.

“OK, then, what’s the joke?” the man demanded, somewhat irritated.

“Joke? What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on! Someone keeps talking to me—telling me I look good, ‘nice tie,’ stuff like that. You’re the only one here, so what’s the joke?” he demanded.

“Oh, that; that’s the peanuts,” the bartender said.

“The peanuts? How stupid do I look?”

“I’m telling you, it’s the peanuts,” he insisted. “They’re complimentary.”

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Posted 2019·08·16 by David Kjos
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Posted in: Humor?

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