Those of you who frequent this blog know that I am not a prolific blogger. That is not because I have nothing to say. I have an opinion, usually a very strong opinion, about almost everything. Theology, politics, personal relationships, sports, leisure, personal hygeine - you name it, I have an opinion. The problem I have is that most of those opinions are either not important, not interesting, or have already been better stated by someone else (see OnTheWeb and 2Corinthians10:4-5 in the sidebar).

I have never intended to post every day like some people I know whose energy and creativity seem to be limitless. I'm happy if, in addition to our weekend posts, I can post something worthwhile once or twice a week. Unfortunately, my imagination, while very active, does not always give me something worthwhile or coherant as often as that.

Consequently, I am opening the blog for your questions and topic suggestions, like this guy occasionally does. My answers will not be as brilliant as his always usually sometimes are, but I'll give it a shot. No question is too trivial. In fact, I have lots of trivial opinions. Want to know what I think? Ask me!

Leave your question/suggestion in the comments here, or click here to email us. I'll leave a link to this post somewhere on the front page, so it will be eternally accessible.

Thanks to all of you who have submitted questions to the Ask Thirsty post. You are probably thinking by now that I have chickened out and decided to ignore your questions and hope you forget. That would be mostly incorrect. With the exception of the two who asked about eschatology, and some of those submitted by email (are you serious?), I am completely unintimidated.

My plan is to have one ready next week. I am tentatively thinking of answering on eschatology first, because if you let me live after that one, I know I can survive anything. I promise you one thing: you will be exceedingly disappointed.

In the meantime, I'll tackle some of the lighter questions.

What is your quest?

My quest is to see my five stunningly beautiful, highly intelligent daughters married to Master's Seminary graduates. Applications may be sent here. I am also aiming to see my three sons put impressive letters behind their names, or become successful entrepreneurs. Godly character would be nice, too. We're working on that.

What is your favorite color?

Whatever blends into the background. You can't be too careful.

What is the air speed velocity of an air-laden swallow?

I've already answered this in the comments, but it bears repeating:

This is, of course, assuming the swallow in question is Hirundo rustica Linnaeus, the North American Barn Swallow. Other Swallow species may vary as much as +/- 3.5° Kelvin.

Tell us about your stint in Montana, and why it reminded you of purgatory.

It reminded me of Purgatory because:

1. It was the extreme northeast corner of the state. If you've been there, you understand.
2. These were not the happiest years of my life. I was not well-liked, and did not have many friends. I have come to the conclusion that this was because a) these were the years from eighth through twelfth grade, and people that age are not only not very nice people, they are barely people, and b) I was not very likable. If I could get in a time machine and go back to the early eighties, I would steer clear of me. I would not let my children associate with me.
3. The church we attended consisted largely of Pharisees — and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

On the positive side, the deer hunting was superb. The landowner where we often hunted was a great guy, even if he used some words that made his sweet, gracious wife blush. Thanks, Lyle.

I guess maybe my Purgatory was not mostly Montana's fault. Hey, Thanks, Nathan. This was a good piece of therapy. OK, everybody, group hug!

Thanks again for your questions, and keep them coming.

In my last Ask Thirsty post, I promised to answer your questions concerning my eschatology. I also promised that my answers would be disappointing. I will now demonstrate that I am a man of my word. I anticipate being taken outside the camp and stoned afterwards.

Kristina asked, “Are you pre, mid, or post-trib rapture...and if not one of those, then what? And why.”

I believe in a pretribulation, premillenial rapture – sort of. I am really not willing to engage in any debate on the subject, because I know I stand on shaky ground in this area (smart-alecky remarks at Jeremy’s amillennial debut notwithstanding). I do not mean that my eschatological view is on shaky ground. I mean that my claim to that view is not entirely legitimate. A legitimate right to be dogmatic is based on a thorough exegetical study of Scripture. I cannot say I have done that concerning eschatology. My study of eschatology consists of a few books on the subject, a few sermons and lectures, and more recently, a few blog articles by some smart people who say I am wrong.

I tentatively take this position for two reasons.

First, the premillennial view seems to me to be the best-supported by Scripture and most consistent with a literal grammatical-historical hermeneutic. I know, the amillennialist make the same claim, but the amillennial view seems to allegorize things that can reasonably be taken literally. Still, when men like Jeremy Weaver and Jason Robertson, who demonstrate a legitimate claim to their views, take the time to explain why they are amillennial, I consider their arguments and am less willing than ever to be dogmatic about it. They’ve got a right to write eschatological polemics because they’ve done the work.

Second, the premillenial view is also held by the men whose hermeneutics I trust the most. They are right about all the things I am willing to bet on, like soteriology, ecclesiology, the ordinances, and the sufficiency of Scripture. They must be right about eschatology, also, don’t you think? Well, maybe not. That’s why my position is tentative.

Honestly, the only reason I even say this much about it is that I am so tired of hearing the “I’m panmillennial” line. I mean, really! If you’ve read the Bible through more than once, you’ve got to have some germ of an opinion. So, I say this is the direction I’m leaning, and I’m leaning pretty hard; but you won’t find me teaching any Sunday school classes on it. I’m too afraid of my amillennial pastor.

Jeremy asked, “How much of a preterist are you?”

I wouldn’t have asked like that, but I guess it might be a good question. I have often observed that the right question concerning both dispensational and covenant theologies is not “which,” but “how much.” That is, everyone is, to some degree, both. In my understanding of preterism, though, I don’t know if that’s true. Must I be a preterist, to some degree? As I understand it, preterists believe that the tribulation prophesies have been fulfilled (I don’t). Hyper-preterists believe that the second coming has already occurred (I obviously don’t). What would I have to believe to be just a minimal preterist? Educate me.

Well, that’s where I am. Looking over this post, I see that it is not only lame as promised, it is not even very well written. At least you can give me credit for choosing an apt title, and being able to type long words repeatedly. That has to be worth something.

And now, with fear and trepidation, I click save.

I bet you thought I had either forgotten this post or just chickened out. Well, here I am. The question I was asked about ecclesiology was not as specific as I would have liked. In fact, it was not specific at all. The querulous one, J.D. Hatfield, was quite brief. I quote:

Ecclesiology

I thought about answering as briefly, e.g., “I’m in favor of it,” but then my wife might read it and inform me, as she often does, that I’m not as funny as I think I am; and that would be devastating.

This will be a thumbnail sketch only. Feel free to ask for more specifics.

The head of the Church is Christ. No arguments so far, I hope. He is represented here on Earth by no man, whether Pope or IFB “man of God.” He ministers to us directly through the Word (that is, the 66 books of the Old and New Testaments) and the Holy Spirit.

The form that the Church takes in the world is the local congregation. All believers are to be in fellowship with and under the authority of a local church body. This is not optional. The local congregation is under no authority but Christ’s, but it should be in fellowship with any other congregations that are faithful to sound Biblical doctrine.

The local church is led, according to the New Testament model, by shepherds. These shepherds are called pastors or elders (I will use the term “elder” from here on). It is not led by a single pastor (dictatorship) or by congregational vote (democracy). The church, neither a dictatorship nor a democracy, is also not a republic. That is, the elders are not elected by the congregation. The ruling elders choose and ordain from among the congregation gifted and qualified men as the Lord sends them for the office of elder.

The duty of elders is to teach and apply the Word and administer the ordinances of baptism and the Lord’s Table. So that they can be unhindered in this duty, they are to appoint deacons to see to the physical needs of the congregation.

Individuals are received into membership based on a credible and Scriptural testimony of faith. Every member, including the elders, is accountable to each other according to Matthew 18.

That is my Ecclesiology in a nutshell. Yes, I realize that I left out Scripture references, so here is one deluxe footnote for you: See the New Testament.

I have never actually been a part of a church that works this way. I would love to hear from those who are, or are at least trying, as to how it works out in your churches.