I am not a big fan of new technology. I’m not at all interested in the latest gadget. But when I saw a headline last week announcing an “iShoe,” I thought, “Hey, cool! Now, that, I could use! As it turns out, though, it wasn’t what I thought it was.

On the low-tech side, I’ve picked up a new hobby: the slide rule. Sound dull? Well it’s not. And as you laugh at me, consider this: when civilization collapses and all the calculators have worn out, I’ll still be able to tell you, in just a few seconds, that the square root of 7 is 2.646.

I’m not actually old enough to have been taught to use a slide rule and, as I’ve asked around, it seems there is not a single person I know who knows how to use one. I went on eBay to find the particular model that corresponds with an instruction book I had picked up previously, and I’m teaching myself.

So I’m curious; have any of my readers ever used a slide rule, or known anyone who did?

This could be the most tasteless thing I’ve ever posted.

Those of you who reject the regulative principle might want to reconsider after you’ve visited Whitetail Chapel (HT: Phil Johnson). I’ve heard of nude church before, but now that I’ve seen it, well . . .

That the Whitetail Chapel “worshippers” could use a good theological and ecclesiastical spanking is obvious, but I doubt it would do any good. At the very least, though, considering the conditions of those represented in the video (rated PG, by the way) — and I do realize that this is a completely superficial observation — perhaps they would benefit from a visit from my favorite Norwegian, Stan Boreson.

I don’t think I can quite salute the Japanese flag, but I’d sure like to give the Japan Ski Association a big round of applause.

Tokyo, Japan (CNN)-- Olympic snowboarder Kazuhiro Kokubo is the talk of Japan. Not for his athletic ability -- but for his appearance.The 21-year-old member of Japan's national team unwittingly caused outrage from cabinet-level government lawmakers to the patrons at the corner pub when he arrived in Vancouver for the winter games.

Kokubo was wearing the team-issued uniform, which consisted of a suit, shirt and tie. But he wasn't wearing it quite right.

Kokubo's shirt was untucked, his pants hung low below his hips, and his tie was loosened revealing an unbuttoned shirt. Kokubo sported dark glasses indoors and double nose piercings. He also wore his hair down, revealing a mane of dreadlocks.

Japan's Minister of Education, Tatsuo Kawabata, was not a fan of the hip hop twist to the national uniform, to say the least.

"It's extremely regrettable that he dressed in a totally unacceptable manner as a representative of Japan's national team," said Kawabata, on the floor of Japan's parliament. "He lacks the awareness that he is participating in the Olympic Games as a representative of our country with everyone's expectations on his shoulders. This should never happen again."

The Japan Ski Association decided to punish Kokubo, along with his snowboard team manager Fumikazu Hagiwara and two coaches, keeping them from attending the Olympic opening ceremony as a show of regret.

But the punishment didn't stop there. Back at home in Japan, multiple viewing parties for Kokubo were cancelled across the city.

Kokubo's arrival in Vancouver was televised again and again on news broadcasts, analyzed by reporters and cultural experts. Kokubo's father even felt compelled to publicly apologize to the nation on behalf of his son's appearance.

Read full article

Poetic justice?

Meanwhile at the Olympic games, Kokubo hit the half-pipe and failed to medal.

At the risk of breaking my tradition of posting nothing important on Saturday, I bring you this bit of sad news.

I usually try to say something original and profound on Monday. My thoughts this morning are most probably not original, or, in my estimation, very profound. I offer them anyway:

Teaching trigonometry is like going to heaven*: most won’t, and for those who do, the rewards vary.

* It can also be like going to hell, but that’s no way to think first thing Monday morning.

. . . for the true gospel.

The President says his “health care” legislation has “had a little buzz saw this week.” Ignoring the nonsensical nature of that phrase, I wonder if he even knows what a buzz saw is.

A Curmudgeon’s Rant for the New Year
or, Linguistic Perversions the New Year Can Do Without
or, Linguistic Perversions without Which the New Year Can Do
or, Why Do You Hate the English Language?
or, Shut up before I rip your tongue out!

so i was like thinking about stuff that really annoys me or whatever, and I was like, wow. just, wow. people today are like so inarticulate. it’s like . . . yeah. i mean, what part of you sound like an illiterate boob don’t you understand? i’m listening, and i’m like, whoa, dude! is english your first language or . . . yeah. the abuse of language totally sickens me. it’s like, i think i just threw up in my mouth a little. it literally turns me inside out. just. stop. it. now. i get up and from the get-go, it’s like, twenty-four-seven, all i hear is like, whatever, you know? these dudes think they sound cool, but at the end of the day,

<span style="language: english;">people like me no longer take them seriously or are interested in whatever it is they want to say. </span>

and by the way: “fail” is a verb. just sayin’.

Cigarette ads on television, if you remember them at all, are a dim memory for most of us, having been banned from television in 1970. So I was surprised to learn recently that when The Flintstones first appeared in 1960, the show was sponsored by Winston cigarettes.

I have mixed emotions about these ads. I’m not sorry that the ads are gone, especially from a program aimed primarily at children. I am sorry for the loss of liberty to broadcast them. In any case, whether or not I should, I get a kick out of seeing them.

Today is your last chance to break any 2009 New Year’s resolutions you might have inadvertently kept until now. Clear ’em out and make room for more!

Just a reminder: I haven’t received my Christmas gifts from most of you yet. I know, it’s difficult to know what to get the man who has . . . oh, you don’t know what I’ve got, do you? Well, I don’t have this or this. Either one or both would be fine. Thanks.

“You can tell it’s Mattel — it’s swell!”

Among the goodies opened last night:

Now I can see what that story we read last night was all about. No, not that story; this story. But speaking of that story, last week I posted a link to this cynical angle on O. Henry’s classic tale. Humorous, I thought, but wrong.

True, Della’s hair will grow back. Also true, Jim’s watch is gone. Sure, he can conceivably buy it back, but it will most likely be long gone before he can save that much. He might as well forget it. But like Della’s hair, which will grow back to receive the combs, he will eventually get another watch to join the fob. It won’t be the watch, but it will be a watch, and for all intents and purposes, they will eventually realize what they had intended that Christmas Eve. Yes, Jim’s sacrifice is greater — which, in the Christ & church/husband & wife metaphor, is perfectly reasonable — but, because of love, that places a greater burden of regret upon Della than Jim. However, and also because of the love that flows in both directions, there need be no regret on either part, but rather a three-fold joy: first, the joy of giving; second, the joy of receiving; and third, the joy of observing the other’s pleasure in both giving and receiving.

This year was our twentieth Christmas reading of The Gift of the Magi. I guess we’ll ignore the cynics and continue.

Well, like I said on Monday, it’ll be mostly filler for the remainder of the year. Today, I just have a couple of Christmas gift suggestions (in case you haven’t gotten mine yet).

The Snuggie (not that hilarious — ha ha! — thing you used do to each other back in junior high) Wii Fit

This abomination by Bob Dylan could be the worst Christmas performance of all time; I don’t know. I don’t think it’s the most annoying. That distinction goes to Paul McCartney. If I was Jack Bauer, and I wanted to beat some intel out of the Fat Man, I’d stick him in a room and play this repeatedly. I know I’d crack by about the third time through. By the fifth, I’d sell out anyone.

And it’s no more charming performed by puppets. McCartney apparently built upon his previous experience of annoying Christmas songs with the Beatles.

It’s enough to make my inner curmudgeon mumble, “Humbug!”

“Poor Al Gore. Global warming completely debunked via the very Internet you invented. Oh, oh, the irony!” —Jon Stewart

I was going to write something today about the “climategate” debacle. I was going to say something to the effect that up until the CRU emails were leaked, all climate-change propaganda came from liars and the exceptionally gullible, but since then, it now comes exclusively from liars and fools. I was also going say something about interested parties who try to sneak away unnoticed, and others who just plug their ears and sing “la-la-la I can’t hear you.”

But that’s not the kind of tone I want to set here on a Monday morning.

Instead, as an addendum to my post of Saturday last, I give you, with my apologies, this.

I almost titled this New Toy, but then you might not take me seriously. And I do so want to be taken seriously.

I am not a tech junkie. I don’t carry any electronic devices, not even a cell phone. I have my PC, which, for entirely practical purposes, I couldn’t live without. Yes, I would continue breathing, but you know what I mean. So it’s big news when I take another technological step forward. And I have big news.

I just bought my very first laptop, and, as the kids say, it’s a pretty sweet machine, and it’s pretty much the opposite of everything I’ve done computer-wise to this point. In the past, I’ve usually gone for the biggest and best that I could afford. My first purchased computer (I had previously been given an antique with a HD measured in megabytes and Windows 3.1) was the top of the line at the time, with a 120gb hard drive, 512mb RAM (I updated to 1gb a couple of years later), an 18 inch flatscreen, and Windows XP. The price was obscene — I’d be embarrassed to publish it here — but it was the best, so I had to have it. It irked me to no end when the next year’s upgrade of the same model came with a 160gb hard drive, 1gb RAM, and a 19 inch flatscreen, all for $500 less. After my first colossal purchase, I knew it would be a long time before I traded up, and I still haven’t, although I did buy a 24 inch widescreen a couple years ago, once again paying a premium price — three times the price of the same screen today.

My new laptop is not the biggest or most expensive by a long shot. It’s the Dell Mini-10 — that’s right, a 10 inch widescreen — with Windows XP, which starts at $279. Mine came to $444.26 with Microsoft Office, upgraded processor and battery, and Bluetooth. It’s a “bigger” machine than my boondoggle of a desktop, and I could almost hide it under my shirt.

Why you would want to know all that is beyond me, but maybe I can add some useful facts and tips that might interest you.

Right now I’ve got my desktop monitor, keyboard, and mouse plugged into the laptop, so it’s better than the old monster in almost every way, plus I can unplug it and take it with me. I don’t know if I’ll ever buy another desktop PC.

I used to customize everything, but I’ve toned down a little.

The first thing I did is download Firefox. Then I began customizing it. There are tons of things you can do to make Firefox behave as you like it by typing about:config in the address bar. You can really mess things up if you get carried away experimenting with this, but the worst that can happen is that you might have to download Firefox again and start over. The one customization I really like is getting rid of the tab close button (the little red x at the right corner of the tab) and placing a single close button at the far right of the tabs bar, like it was in older versions of Firefox. I don’t know how many times I’ve accidentally closed a tab when hurriedly clicking on it. To fix this, scroll down (in about:config) to browser.tabs.closeButtons, double click, and enter 3 for Value.

I also added the Google Toolbar for Firefox. I don’t have much use for the toolbar itself, but it comes with a Gmail notifier and an autofill function for one-click filling of online forms. Since those are the only functions I use, and I don’t like giving up screen space to another toolbar, I just right-click the toolbar, click customize, and drag those two buttons up to the main toolbar. Then I click view>toolbars and uncheck the Google toolbar.

Forcastfox is a favorite Firefox add-on. Monitor the weather without ever leaving your parent’s basement. One caveat: if you’re running a low-powered machine with little RAM, Forecastfox will freeze your machine momentarily every time it updates, so if you’re playing a DVD, you’ll want to close Firefox first.

The following customizations might lead you to believe I’m a bit pedantic, but that’s only because I am. At least the half-dozen or so CDOs* reading might appreciate these.

I don’t like being nagged to restart my computer to install updates. I’ll do that when I’m good and ready, thank you very much. If that irritates you too, press Windows-R on your keyboard, and in the Run dialog that should pop up, type “sc stop wuauserv,” click OK or hit Enter on your keyboard, and then go thank Dan Phillips for this tip. The bad news is that you’ll have to run this every time you reboot, but after the first time the command will appear in the dropdown of the dialog, so it’s just a 3-second inconvenience. Or, if you forget, just do it the next time the restart nag pops up.

The next tip is also courtesy of Mr Phillips. Are you obsessive about the order in which programs appear on your taskbar? Taskbar Shuffle is your friend. Drag-and-drop to rearrange your taskbar and tray icons at will.

I like a clean desktop. I mean really clean. But there’s that pesky Recycle Bin shortcut that you just can’t move. Well, now you can at least hide it.

Copy the following code into notepad and save the file as Recycle.reg in My Documents (or elsewhere). Go to My Documents (or your preferred folder) and double-click it. This will import it into the registry, and a new option will be listed in the Folder Options dialog box that will let you configure the Recycle Bin icon.

Windows Registry Editor Version 5.00

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Explorer\Advanced\Folder\RecycleBinOnDesktop]
"RegPath"="Software\\Microsoft\\Windows\\CurrentVersion\\Explorer\\HideDesktopIcons\\NewStartPanel"
"Text"="Show Recycle Bin icon on the desktop"
"Type"="checkbox"
"ValueName"="{645FF040-5081-101B-9F08-00AA002F954E}"
"CheckedValue"=dword:00000000
"UncheckedValue"=dword:00000001
"DefaultValue"=dword:00000000
"HKeyRoot"=dword:80000001

And that is all for today. Have a good Saturday and a blessed Lord’s Day.

*That’s OCD to you normal people.

Absolutely nothing is what you’ll get from me today. Feel free to come back as often as you like and take as much of it as you want.

. . . inspired by my week on the internets:

This Chinese admiration of Obama is not at all surprising.

We should never expect to be accepted just the way we are. We should, however, love people as they are.

How ignorant and/or biased do you have to be to report on the demise of the Berlin wall without even mentioning Ronald Reagan, and then call Hilary Clinton a “veteran of the cold war”? Pretty darn, I’d say.

Kim thinks I’m a gentleman. That says something about Canadian standards, I think.

Rick Warren is being biographized. At the tender age of fifty-five. Think I’m joking? I should be, but I’m not. But I suppose, if Obama can have a Nobel Prize . . .

This entirely objective opinion has been laying on my chest for a while now. Brian Regan is not funny. Yes, I know, you love him and he’s clean, and I’m glad of that, but just like a Bible verse tacked onto a lame painting doesn’t make it good art, not dirty ≠ funny.

Finally, If you make your living harassing celebrities, and get decked in the process, you got what you had coming; and too bad for you if you’re dumb enough to pick Mike Tyson.

Nothing too serious here today . . .

I spent a few minutes YouTubing last night. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit it, but with one click leading to another, in a very short time I had forgotten what I was looking for in the first place. Anyway, I ran across a video posted by a “sanderson1611” (guess what one of his pet doctrines is) entitled Charles H Spurgeon Exposed!!!

“sanderson1611” (I love how these KJVO guys who don’t use the 1611, have probably never seen one, all use “1611” in their screen names, church signs, etc.) is apparently an equal opportunity exposer, having exposed heretics as diverse as Kirk Cameron and Peter S Ruckman!!! (put a great big [sic] after all odd punctuation, capitalization, etc. in this post; it’s a fundy-KJVO thing) He also seems to know a lot about hell. John Hagee is not merely a heretic, but a “Heretic from Hell.” “Billy Graham is going to Hell.” A “sermon” is preached on “A book Straight Out of Hell” (hint: it doesn’t include the digits 1611).

I think it’s only fair that I EXPOSE SANDERSON1611!!!!!!!! Sanderson1611 is Stephen L. Anderson of Faithful Word Baptist Church, Phoenix Arizona. You might know him from his very helpful semi-famous sermon on biblical urination. Pastor Sanderson maintains a site called The Repentance Blacklist. You might think it’s a list of HERETICS!!! who need to REPENT!!! or they will go to HELL!!! and I suppose it is, but what they need to repent of is — hang on — preaching repentance. Conspicuously absent from the list is John MacArthur, perhaps the most famous preacher of “Lordship Salvation”; but he promises “many more to be added very soon.” So I feel I must warn you that Sanderson himself is, in fact, a HERETIC!!! I can’t judge, however, whether or not he is Going To Hell!!!

But now I’m rambling. Back to Spurgeon . . .

The thought that came to mind immediately was this: here we are, in the year 2009. Spurgeon has been gone for 117 years, and for all those years has been revered by the greatest theologians of the church. His vast catalogue of works has been published for all to see, so there has never been any mystery surrounding his doctrine. What Spurgeon was is and always has been well known. Isn’t it pretty far-fetched, then, to believe that we have been waiting all these years for some young weenie to expose (!!!) him?

Today is the last day to take advantage of the early-bird registration discount for Together for the Gospel 2010. I know the only reason you’re going is to meet me, and you won’t want to pay too much for that.

Once upon a time, the civilizing influence of the fairer sex was highly valued. Now, among the lofty goals of feminism is one woman’s dream: “One day, a late-night writer's room will be filled with poop jokes and fart jokes . . . and everyone will laugh, including men and women of all creeds and colors.”

A syndrome for all occasions: If you should find yourself a curious, but passive, onlooker to a horrendous violent crime, don’t be concerned; it’s normal, and even expected, now that everything can be explained in terms of syndromes.

Disturbing, but no longer surprising: “It’s just not normal to look over and see your wife with another man. I know a lot of people would have a real problem with that. I really don’t.”

I’ve wondered what the origin of the “Al Gore invented the internet” joke was. Thanks to Dan Phillips, now I know. What caught my attention in the Late Edition interview was the typical politician’s commandeering of Scripture when convenient. Pro-abortion rights Gore can ignore the Bible on murder, socialist Gore can ignore the Bible on theft, and climate-change crisis Gore can ignore the Bible on lying, but he can quote Matthew 7:20 in reference to the alleged good fruit of the Clinton administration. The “inconvenient truth,” of course, is that when Jesus said “by their fruits ye shall know them,” he was speaking of judging false prophets.

’Tis the season for Halloween posts. I’ve contributed my two cents, haven’t changed my mind, so here you go: have an encore presentation from three years ago.

Speaking of Halloween, although this goes against everything I believe, it’s too much fun not to pass on.

Sorry, nothing of substance here today. In lieu of actual content, I’ve taken a glance at my bookshelves and picked out my top three in three categories: living authors, dead authors, and publishers. These are not necessarily the tops in number of volumes, but in importance/value to me.

Top Three of Three

• Top three living authors:
  • John MacArthur
  • Iain Murray
  • Mark Dever
• Top three dead authors:
  • John Calvin
  • Horatius Bonar
  • J. C. Ryle
• Top three publishers:
  • Banner of Truth
  • Crossway
  • Hendrickson

What are your top three of three?

Hey, kids! Want to play a game? I was looking over my book shelves, and — well, here’s one you didn’t see on Sesame Street.

One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn’t belong.
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
Before I finish my song?

The Obamessiah displays more of his unfathomable hubris. This guy gets scarier every time he opens his mouth. If I wasn’t a Calvinist, I don’t think I could face another day.

Twenty-five years late, it is now 1984, in the UK, at least. Can we be far behind?

Jimmy Carter reminds us once again why November 4, 1980 was such a high point in American history.

Can anyone translate Proverbs 26:11 into Russian?

But enough of politics. Here’s something to get the bad taste out of your mouth:

Even Phil Johnson’s diet is quite mundane compared to this. Notice: the Thirsty Theologian cannot vouch for the contents of that site beyond the linked page. (That is, the purpleslinky.com page, not Phil’s.)

In case you need something to wash that down . . .

Warning: Southern Baptists will want to plug their ears and sing “la la la I can’t hear you” through this one. Tim Archer has written what looks like a pretty good series on alcohol. He links both to me and to Bob Hayton’s excellent article on Isaiah 16:10 and the Two-Wine Theory, so I’m linking him here. Cheers!

• The Christian and Alcohol (Alcohol abuse)
• The Christian and Alcohol, Part 2 (Alcohol in the history of the U.S.)
• The Christian and Alcohol, Part 3 (Seeing what the Bible says about alcohol)

• The Christian and Alcohol, Part 4 (What the Pentateuch says about alcohol)
• The Christian and Alcohol, Part 5 (What the rest of the Old Testament says about alcohol)
• The Christian and Alcohol, Part 6 (What Proverbs and Ecclesiastes say about alcohol)
• The Christian and Alcohol, Part 7 (What the gospels say about alcohol)
• The Christian and Alcohol, Part 8 (What the rest of the New Testament says about alcohol)
• The Christian and Alcohol, Part 9 (Additional passages to consider)
• The Christian and Alcohol, Part 10 (Additional passages to consider)
• The Christian and Alcohol, Part 11 (Modern concepts forced onto an ancient text)

Now you’re wondering (I’m sure), “How do I keep my beer cold?” Try this.

Now, on to the topic most guaranteed to bore me to death: sports.

This is one reason why I like tennis, and the only reason I hate hockey: in tennis, the players are expected to behave themselves.

That is all. Have a good weekend and a blessed Lord’s Day.

Summer is over. Which brings us to the question we’ve all been contemplating over the last few months:

What is the radius (r) of a sphere the surface area (sa) of which is 46π cm2?

First, we write out the equation.
Teaching this, I find it helpful to color-code the factors to make it easier to follow them when we invert the equation to find the radius.
Since the sa of a sphere = 4πr2, we write the equation thus:

sa = 4πr2 = 46π cm2

r = √46π cm2
       4π

r = √46π cm2
       4π

r = √46 cm2
       4 2   (4 = 22)

r = √46/2 cm*

* Solution corrected thanks to Aric.

I’ve been sitting on some of these (yes, it’s uncomfortable) for a couple of weeks, so they might be a bit stale.

This might not be very nice of me, but few (trivial) things would give this non-sportsfan more pleasure than to see the Packers vs. the Vikings in the playoffs, and then to watch Brett Favre lead the Vikings to their first Superbowl victory. On second thought, the state that sent Al Franken to the Senate deserves no such victory.

Speaking of Franken, I know I’ve said some negative things about him. However, he does have one skill that impresses me. Really, it does.

And speaking of politicians, take heart — according to Tim Hawkins, The Government Can!

You’ve likely seen this by now, but it’s a good analysis of the American medical industry: How American Health Care Killed My Father. It’s disappointing to see that the author still tips his hat to socialism near the end (“For lower-income Americans who can’t fund all of their catastrophic premiums or minimum HSA contributions, the government should fill the gap—in some cases, providing all the funding.”), but it’s an otherwise good look at the problem and its solution.

Are you a parent, or just another pathetic, spineless weenie?

In the news: Star NFL player goes to prison for dog fighting. Meanwhile, a basketball coach murders his child in cold blood. We are assured that he will take no leave of absence, and will coach next season. Whew, that’s a relief.

Walter Cronkite is still popping up in the headlines here and there, but I wonder how many have read about The Man Who Wasn’t Cronkite.

Gene Veith: The new new-NIV may be even more gender-inclusive. Well, that’s good to know. Now I can still not buy one.

Albert Mohler has a message American “evangelicals” desperately need: Why Moralism Is Not the Gospel — And Why So Many Christians Think It Is.

Before you complain about the outdated language in hymns, make sure you know what you’re talking about.

In the “Not Hymns” category, the “worst worship ever.” I hope “worship” isn’t another word we’ll have to throw out as meaningless, along with “fundamentalist” and “evangelical.” As one YouTube commenter wrote, “i [sic] feel bad for jesus [sic]. all [sic] his friends are idiots.”

And then there’s this: Fratello Metallo.

On Twitter: Doug Groothius (The Constructive Curmudgeon) is a man after my own heart.

Just for fun: make your own Silly Putty or get your own custom bobblehead.

After my post on Monday, I’m sure you’ve been thinking, “Man I’ve got to see Jaws again (or perhaps for the first time).” Well, here you go: Jaws in 30 Seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.

I want to agree with John Piper on the tornado that struck the Apostate Lutheran Church of America’s national convention this Wednesday. There is a good chance he’s right. On the other hand, I agree with Scott Clark: we can’t interpret providence, nor do we need to. And then there’s this, from Lutheran (the genuine kind), novelist, and ersatz Viking Lars Walker. As a Norwegian-American raised on lutefisk and lefse, I am obligated to take anyone named Lars seriously. In any case, Piper’s reminder to consider Luke 13:4–5 is appropriate. Update: ELCA completely embraces homosexuality.

I have no doubt that Piper is right about this.

Southern Baptists flock to Malaysia.

I love this. Liberals hate Obama now, too. (Warning: contains the kind of language you would expect from sailors or trendy preachers from Seattle.)

If those narcissistic Puritans had only used 140 characters “expressing their thoughts about stuff,” we’d be asking, “Jonathan who?”

Public service message: the weapon referred to in this article is not an assault weapon. In fact, whenever the media or a politician used the term “assault weapon,” you can be sure they are never talking about the genuine article. No one wants to ban assault weapons, because no one but military and law enforcement agencies have them. What anti Second Amendment zealots are against are guns that look like assault weapons. Oh yeah, and any other firearm, as well.

Todd Bolen, previously featured on this blog here, has produced a new collection of photo CDs from Israel.

I am very excited to announce the release of a new photo collection from BiblePlaces.com and LifeintheHolyLand.com. The American Colony and Eric Matson Collection includes more than 4,000 high-resolution photographs taken by professional photographers living in Jerusalem from 1898 until the 1940s. I’ve worked with a team for the last five years organizing and improving this collection so that the photos are the highest quality, accurately identified, carefully organized, and elucidated by observations of well-known 19th-century explorers. (read more here)

I am the fortunate owner of a couple of Todd’s previous collections, and I can attest to the superb quality of both the photos and presentation.

What would Jonathan Edwards say? Yale Press Bans Images of Muhammad in New Book.

I suppose it takes some nerve to disagree with a man whose IQ is higher than mine and all my readers’ collectively, but I do take issue with Scott Clark on cremation. Clark writes:

As we contemplate the last thing that will likely happen to our bodies let us at least give some serious thought to the message we are sending about the body and its relation to the image and to human dignity rooted in the image of God. If cremation is unavoidable, we can at least arrange some clear testimony to the hope of the resurrection. If, however, cremation is just one option among many, then we must ask, are we, as much as lies within us, testifying to our hope of the bodily resurrection or are we unintentionally sending another message? There’s no question whether God can and shall re-constitute bodies at the resurrection, the question is what message are we sending by our acts?

The Right to Bare and Keep Arms, or Clothes Don’t Always Make the Man, or In the Country of the Unarmed, the Naked Man with the Baseball Bat Is King. (HT: Semper Reformanda. Do take the time to watch the video at the top.)

From the “Dr” G. A. Riplinger school of hermeneutics comes this fun little piece: Did Jesus Reveal The Name Of The Anti Christ?

Since you asked, I like my coffee black. That’s the way real men drink it. However, that doesn’t prevent me from occasionally indulging in a splash of flavor. Sometimes, especially in the afternoon or evening, I’ll throw in a shot of Bailey’s and a spoonful of brown sugar. My occasional Starbucks is a small (I refuse to call the smallest size on the menu “tall”) caramel cappuccino, double espresso. Straight black Starbucks tastes like used motor oil with a shot of antifreeze and hints battery acid, but without the pleasant aftertaste.

Dig the zany hijinx of those rascals from the Religion of Peace®. (Do I seem to be belaboring the point? Yes, I suppose I do.)

I just finished reading State of Fear by the late Michael Crichton (October 23, 1942 – November 4, 2008). This is definitely recommended reading. I want to share one short excerpt from the book. Crichton was not a Christian, but, at one point, managed to invoke the name of Jesus accurately, which is more than I can say for the majority of the WWJD crowd.

   One of the leading characters is holding forth on the billions spent “researching” and combating the fiction of global warming. He complains that all that money could be spent on genuine humanitarian causes, such as AIDS in Africa. “In another world,” he says, “it would be a criminal waste.”

At the very least, we are talking about a moral outrage. Thus we can expect our religious leaders and our great humanitarian figures to cry out against this waste and the needless deaths around the world that result. But do any religious leaders speak out? No. quite the contrary, they join the chorus. They promote ‘What Would Jesus Drive?’ As if they have forgotten what Jesus would drive is the false prophets and fear mongers out of the temple.”

—Michael Crichton, State of Fear (HarperCollins, 2004), 457.

Of course, fair and balanced as I am, I offer you this alternate viewpoint.

This ( 7:54) may or may not be fair and balanced, but if you don’t think it’s funny, you’re just wrong.

If you think the election of Barack Obama marks an historic milestone in the fight against racism, think again ( 7:54, HT: Biblical Christianity).

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it” [George Santayana]. Regarding socialized medicine, we’ve been here before, and I don’t mean Hillarycare. Listen to a voice from the past — fourty-eight years past — explain how it works ( 10:06, HT: The Constructive Curmudgeon).

This post, which is just a conversation starter from one pastor to others, reminded me of how big a job our pastors have, and how much they need our support and prayers.

More love from the religion of peace.

“Famous musicians shouldn’t grow old.” I’m not sure the younger (1974) is so much better than the older (2008). Stephen King once wrote of a character singing “with a voice that could melt screws.” I think we’ve found him, if you can call that “singing.” On the other hand, here’s a famous musician who got old: hear him in 1957, 1969, about (I’m guessing) 1985–90, and in 2009 — at 100 years old. I guess it all depends on what you call music.

Oh, Benny. This is so ironic you wouldn’t want to leave it out in the rain . . . you know, because it would rust.

Conclusive proof we elected the wrong man: our President drinks light beer.

And finally, possibly the worst joke I will ever tell. This is no exaggeration. It is utterly horrible, but it’s also so much my style that I can’t resist. The worst part is that it’s original; it just popped into my head the other day. It’s really only funny in the perverse way of bad puns and the twisted minds that love them. So you have my sincere apologies in advance. Prepare the tomatoes.

David, son of Jesse, King of Israel, walks into a bar . . .

Yep, clichéd lead-in and all. Sorry.

. . . has drink, shares casual banter with the bartender, etc., and leaves. Spends the afternoon writing several Psalms, plays Harp Hero with one of the boys. Wanders back to the bar later that evening.

The bartender says to himself, “Wow, man. Dave à Jew.”

When can we stop pretending that Islam is a “religion of peace,” and publicly acknowledge it as a genuine threat to all civilization? Now, maybe?

Jimmy Carter is a hot topic lately, having apostatized from the SBC over their misogynist policies. Southern Baptists are naturally interested, but old Jimmy’s even got the attention of at least one Lutheran. And Dan wraps up my thoughts pretty well. I’ll just add one comment: So? He’s undeniably the worst former President in history, and now the former worst President in history (note the clever word-play there). Should we expect him to be a great theologian?

In another not-so-strange moment, on a program featuring the non-stop, simultaneous, incoherent babbling of five silly women, Whoopi Goldberg admits that conspiracy theories of the alleged moon landings do make her wonder. (HT: Fred, who offers this in Whoopi’s defense.)

I hate hearing the derisive expression, “That’s gay,” or the more emphatic “That is so gay.” The folks at ThinkB4YouSpeak.com agree. Well, actually, they don’t. When I ask, “When you say ‘That’s so gay,’ do you realize what you say?” — and I do ask, if I know the offending party sufficiently well — I mean, and say, Do you really think sodomy is involved here? Is that the picture you want to paint? Because, unless you mean “exuberantly happy,” that’s exactly what you’re saying. Would you like me to elaborate on what that means? No? Then ThinkB4YouSpeak, indeed. (HT: Frank)

Here is an echo of my thoughts on boycotts. The money quote:

It is easy, it is without cost, to refrain from drinking Pepsi and send them them emails explaining your moral outrage. Now, put your money where your mouth is. The United States of America collects taxes, some of which goes to funding legal partial-birth abortions. If you think the dyslexic sexuality (I wish I could remember who came up with that description) of gay people is bad, how much worse is infanticide? Quit paying your taxes and boycott a country that funds killing babies if you think boycotts are the way the Kingdom is grown. (I hear crickets chirping.) “But I have to pay taxes” you say. No you don’t. You will go to jail if you don’t. It will cost you and your family unlike switching from Pepsi to Coke and sending Pepsi a few emails. So, do your really think boycotts are the way to go out into the world with the Good News to the glory of the Triune God?

The citizens of the state of my birth had me shaking my head when they elected The Body governor in 1999. But when the land of 10,000 flakes elected Al Franken to the Senate, they confirmed once and for all what I already knew: Minnesota is no longer peopled primarily by level-headed, hard-working Scandinavians. Anyway, it terrifies me to think of Franken as a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee. But that’s not what I’m after here. I want to correct a misconception that came up in an exchange between Franken and Judge Sonia Sotomayor during the Sotomayor nomination rubber-stamping hearings: that the right to privacy is not in the Constitution. It is, in the same way that the Trinity is in the Bible. Check the Fourth Amendment.

Finally, here is something that is unconstitutional: in case you’re interested, here’s a list of who has gotten financial bailout (TARP) money so far.

These are just a couple of loose thoughts rattling around in my head this morning.1

• Item One:

  This was brought to my attention twice in one day (Thursday, to be precise). I take that to be a sign from God that I must comment on it. First, I heard it on the radio. As I seldom listen to the radio, that must be significant. Then, I was reminded in print2. Since “in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established,”3 I take this as an “anointing of the spirit”4 to share a “word of knowledge”4. And, today being Saturday, this is as good a time as any to share my wisdom. Prepare for the profundity.

  Anyone who can sing “Easy like a Sunday Morning”5 has obviously never gotten eight (or even one or two) children ready for church on Sunday.6

  If that requires any explanation, you should perhaps consider a life of celibacy.

• Item Two:

  This year marks the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing, or perhaps I should say, alleged moon landing. No, I’m kidding; but God, in his loving providence, has given us some entertaining folks who are not. More proof of his providence is that this was captured on video. I’m not saying what Aldrin did was right; I am saying that viewing it provided me with a moment of schadenfreude7 for which I have yet to feel convicted.

• Item Three:

  I like lists and footnotes.8

1 Yes, you may say it: along with a couple of loose screws.

2 You won’t see it in this link, but the text that came through my Google reader was “Easy like a Sunday Morning.”

3 Matthew 18:16. Yes, I know I am ripping it violently out of context. Believe it or not, I’m only following a precedent I’ve encountered in using this verse.

4 You may insert one of those rolling-eyes emoticons here, if your religion allows.

5 A truly horrible song, second in horribleness only to We’ll Sing in the Sunshine.

6 No, ladies, I don’t have to be a mom to know that.

7 A word that makes me look scholarly.

8 Footnotes add to the illusion of scholarshipliness. Lists give the appearance of orderly, structured thinking.*

* Footnoting a footnote is taking it a bit too far.

Are you a Calvinist?
Take the test.
I scored 81%.

The final question makes it worth your time.

HT: Pure Church.

(image source)

By law, every blogger is required to make some remarks on the passing of Michael Jackson; at least, it seems so to me. This will be my one and only, with only a couple of items to mention.

I thought nothing could top the mis-direction of patriotic* worship services until I saw this (HT).

A lot of gushing praise has been poured out on Michael Jackson. Most of it (actually, all of it, in my opinion) is pure nonsense. A lot of negative things have been said as well. We’ll never know how accurate many of those things are. Without a doubt, there is much we have not understood, and never will understand, about this eccentric (to put it mildly) man. That being the case, it is prudent to simply keep our mouths shut and refrain from speculating about what we don’t know. Otherwise, when or if the truth is discovered, open mouths may be the mark of fools. For example , this.

*I’m not at all against patriotism. I’m very much a patriot myself. But when the church gathers together, it does so as citizens of a kingdom not of this world.

As I mentioned last week, the Mrs and me went to see Star Trek on Monday. I’m sorry to say I was not impressed. If I had never seen Star Trek before, and so knew nothing about it, I would have thought it was okay. As it was, it just did not ring true. My complaints:

• The problems begin early, when we are introduced to a teen-aged James T. Kirk. Young Jim steals a classic Corvette, drives it like a pro, and wrecks it. Of course we all know (don’t we?) that later in life, when it becomes necessary for Captain Kirk to drive a car, he doesn’t know how, having never done it.
• The creative minds behind the movie seemed to follow the philosophy currently popular among writers and directors, i.e., keep it moving fast with plenty of action, and no one will notice how thin the plot and/or how one-dimensional the characters. Star Trek was never predominantly an action show. It was a drama, focusing more on strategy than actual combat. This Star Trek seemed to major in cool fight scenes.
• Finally — and this one is just unforgivable — a Spock-Uhura romance? I could maybe overlook the movie’s other failings, but that was just stupid.

Having grossed $226,428,402 (as of 11 June), it is the third highest grossing movie of the last year, so I would guess an entirely unnecessary sequel will be coming. Sad, really.

This post is utterly irrelevant to your life.

Star Trek opened, I think, May 7, and it just arrived at our little theatre last night; which is a small price to pay for not living in NY or LA, or any other crowded city. Anyway, I didn’t go. I’ll gladly wait ’til Monday night, when the theatre will be the least crowded. In the meantime . . .

I’ve always been down on people who see movies rather than read books. On one occasion, A Tale of Two Cities came up in conversation, and one illiterate cinemaphile commented, “Oh, that was a good movie.” It was only due to my advanced state of maturity that I kept my immediate reaction bottled up inside, where every good man keeps his emotions. Getting to the point, or nearer to it, at least, I avoid seeing movies based upon books if I haven’t read the book. What has this to do with Star Trek? Well . . .

I have a son who has picked up this tendency of mine, and multiplied it. He wants the original in all things. Like me, he dislikes abridged and adapted works. But he goes a bit further. He won’t see a movie remake without first seeing the original. If, by accident, he does see the remake first, he acts as though he’s been defiled. So, getting to the point — really, this time — we’ve been watching Star Trek. Thursday night, we watched Star Trek: The Movie; last night, The Wrath of Khan. Tonight, whatever comes next. Frankly, my dear, I don’t care. I think I’ve had enough.

I hadn’t seen any of the Trek movies before. The first was fairly mediocre, I thought. Khan was good. Before watching it, I felt compelled to watch Space Seed again. Even though I fell asleep halfway through, I felt I had met my moral obligation. The Wrath of Khan was much better than its predecessor. I did think it interesting that Khan remembered Chekov, who hadn’t yet appeared on the show at the time of Space Seed. Trekkies have no doubt argued at length about that, but it’s an easily-explained inconsistency, not really an inconsistency at all.

So Monday I will see the new Star Trek. My expectations are not high, having already discovered a major contradiction just from watching the trailer. If you care to see what that is, compare the trailer to A Piece of the Action. I hope I’m not too disappointed.

P.S.

I haven’t been posting many links this week because
1. I’m busy trying to clean up my blog template, which is really a mess,
2. I’ve been watching Star Trek, and
3. I don’t have to.

If your time is worth anything to you, anything at all, click “back” immediately. This post is certain to be a complete waste of time.

Sometimes I have completely useless thoughts. I know, I know, hard to believe, but true nonetheless. Here is one I had last night:

Arnold Dorsey changed his name, and I don’t know why.

It is common knowledge that aspiring entertainers with unwieldy names often change them to something a bit more marketable. Some of them, we can understand. A few examples:

• Charles Buchinsky became Charles Bronson.
• Archie Leach became Carey Grant.
• Betty Joan Perske became Lauren Bacall.
• Frederick Austerlitz became Fred Astair.
• Doris Von Kappellof became Doris Day.
• Frances Gumm became Judy Garland.
• Issur Danielovitch became Kirk Douglas.
• Samuel Goldfish, tired of being picked on at recess by the other movie producers, changed his name to Samuel Goldwyn (Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer).
• No one has to ask why Marrion Morrison changed his name to John Wayne.

Some are not so understandable; for example:

• I can’t imagine why Frank Cooper changed his name to Gary Cooper, but okay, whatever, po-tay-to po-tah-to.
• Ditto Julie Wells, a.k.a. Julie Andrews.

But seriously . . .

Why would anyone with a perfectly normal name like Arnold Dorsey, who was not trying to be funny (e.g., Caryn Johnson/Whoopie Goldberg), change his name to Engelbert Humperdinck? How does it happen that anyone contemplating a name change, says, “Hey, how about Humperdinck?”

Unless I am wrong — and I am never wrong — this makes no sense.

Fun in North Dakota!

Warning: not for the squeamish.
Not PETA approved.

1927 Bugatti Type 38

Ah, Saturday — a nice day for a leisurely drive in the country (this will cost you ten minutes of your life).

I’m sure there is something theological I could say about this, but it’s just not coming to me.

I’m sorry I have no real post today. But since you’re here, I want to draw your attention to (probably) the best deal you’ll find on anything John Calvin this quincentenary year.

Solid Ground Christian Books is offering a 500th Anniversary set of Calvin’s Commentaries with a matching two-volume set of Institutes of the Christian Religion for only $119.95.

click here to order

This, by the way, matches CBD’s (motto: “We’ll Sell Anything!”) price. CBD is apparently historically challenged, as the print edition of their catologue that I received in the mail yesterday lists it as a “30th Anniversary” set.

What? Oh, I see: it’s CBD’s 30th anniversary! I hardly know what to say. I suppose this is where I would type an all-caps el-oh-el, if I was inclined to do such a thing, probably with multiple exclamation points.

Anyway, Solid Ground is a quality, discerning bookseller, and I hope you’ll consider buying from them this time.

Thank you.

First, It’s funny that a post on how many napkins to take at McDonald’s gets so many comments.

Second, I’m rather disappointed — but not surprised — that some are more concerned about the environmental impact than the ethics of taking more than is needed. Is it stealing to take extra napkins to take home or carry in your car/purse? Can that really be a serious question?

During this holiday season I will not be sticking strictly to my recently-set schedule. Take today, f’rinstance (note the homey colloquialism, denoting a casual attitude). I’ve done a lot of different things on this blog. I’ve posted theology, history, rantings, and jokes. I’ve posted scripture and hymns, done a couple of mêmes, and even written a song. One thing I don’t think I’ve ever done is a recipe. It only makes sense then — don’t you agree? — that I post one now. Can’t let the bloggerbabes ladybloggers have all the fun, can I?

Lest you doubt my qualifications, let me present my extensive resumé:

To start with, I was a bit of a mad scientist in the kitchen as a child. My mother allowed me quite a bit of freedom to experiment, and taught me anything I was willing to learn; so by the time I moved out, I was not the typical helpless bachelor. Twenty-plus years later, a couple of my former roommates still fondly remember such fine things as Veal Parmigiana, chile that makes your head sweat, and fresh-squeezed lemonade. (One roommate actually had a recipe, sent by his mother, for — I jest not — scrambled eggs. Plain scrambled eggs.)

But those were amateur days. Next I took my natural talent to a professional level. After driving delivery for a time at LeeAnn Chin in Edina Minnesota, I learned to stir-fry. My Szechuan Shrimp and Beef Lo-Mein were famous for miles around, and are now a part of local legend (or if they aren’t, they ought to be). At the same time, I worked a second job at MacDonald’s, broadening my repertoire . . . well, a little.

So! Having established my credentials, and started very few fires, I move on to today’s recipe. I was inspired to do this by Thabiti, who lamented his separation from his favorite breakfasting facility. I dedicate this feast to him, and without further adieu, I give you breakfast:

David’s World Famous, Award Winning, Mouthwatering, Muscle Building, Stomach Filling, PETA Annoying

Heart Attack Eggs®

Ingredients:

• 1 dozen large eggs
• 1 pound of bacon
• 1 large Vidalia onion
• ¼ pound extra sharp cheddar cheese
  No, Velveeta will not do.
• 1 pint sour cream
  Don’t even think about substituting any of that fraudulent non-dairy slime.

Preparation:

• Crack eggs into a bowl
• Cut bacon into 1 inch pieces
• Chop onion
• Grate cheese

Fry ’em up:

• I like to use a wok, but a large cast iron skillet works as well.
• Fry the bacon and onion (add a chopped red bell pepper, if you like) together until the bacon is crispy and the onions are well cooked. Do not drain.
• Dump in the eggs and scramble. Let the eggs get well cooked.
• Toss in the cheese and mix.
• Dump in the sour cream. Yes, all of it. Stir it in. This will make it kind of sloppy, but be patient. Keep stirring it uncovered on the heat until it cooks down to the desired consistency.

Serve with whole wheat toast generously plastered with real butter. Don’t you dare use margarine. Hash browns are a good substitute for, or addition to, the toast. Accepted condiments are anything you like. The point is to enjoy it. I like ketchup (not, for pete’s sake, catsup) and Tabasco sauce. Fobidden condiments are anything that says “substitute” or “low _____” on the label. Pour up a big glass of tomato juice, or, if it’s at least lunch time and the Baptists aren’t looking, a Bloody Mary.

Serves one. Ah say, ah say, that’s a joke, son. Usually.

It ain’t exactly new, but I think he’ll like this.

A “Wordle” of Augustine‘s Confessions. Confessions was written as a prayer. Notice the focus of the prayer, as shown by the dominant words: Thy, Thou, Thee, God.

Augustine also was obviously not a fundamentalist or evangelical, as demonstrated by the absence of a great big

Alright, I admit it: these are kind of fun. This time, I entered the books of the Bible, the New Testament authors, and every biblical synonym, adjective, metaphor, etc. for the Word of God that I could think of, and here it is: the “Wordled” Word. As you can see, it‘s black & white.

Can you think of any biblical words or phrases I could have added?

But first, a message from our sponsor:

Earlier this week, a kind and astute reader informed us that our RSS feed was unable to be read by Internet Explorer. Shocked — shocked, I tell you — to hear that IE had a flaw, we popped up our own IE and investigated. Sure enough, we got the same error message that our helpful comrade had reported. So, at great personal sacrifice, I rolled up my sleeves and, as Ross Perot used to promise he would do (but never got the chance, in spite of the efforts of a certain crazy relative), got under the hood and fixed it. Now even those of you still using IE can subscribe; so hurry, do it now! Click here! Never miss a single scintillating post!

Now, back to our regularly scheduled scintillation.

Planning on buying a motorcycle? Show your wife this, but not this (pardon the “music”).

I suppose this makes me a fad-following nerd, but here it is: the Thirsty Theologian “Wordled.” Actually, it’s just last month’s archive. For some reason it wouldn’t do the front page.

This is just an odd collection of stuff: some serious, some interesting, some weird, some fun, and some a combination of more than one of those.

Canadian parental rights are under attack here and here.

Freedom of speech is no longer free in France and Canada.

“Church Possibly Dates to Earliest Years of Christianity.” Missing the point entirely, my first reaction was, “Well, duh!”

Do you know where your feet are?

If your intended has already buried four husbands, you might want to reconsider becoming number five.

I went out for basketball in 7th grade. I cold barely walk and dribble at the same time. I hate this guy.

I was much better at stuff like this.

Economist and syndicated columnist Thomas Sowell occasionally titles his column Random Thoughts. If you’ve read those columns, please lower your expectations several degrees before continuing.

These are just a few things that have crossed my mind in the past week or so. Some are thoughts inspired by conversations, others are just the fruit of a wandering mind.

On singing:
   Yukon Rebecca shared a nice hymn on Sunday, complete with a performance of said hymn by Fernando Ortega. She commented that it was “one of the few versions I could find that was not sung in a breathy female voice.” She almost set me off on my own list of irritations with popular singers, but I saved it for you.
   Rebecca already mentioned breathy (kiss me, baby!) singing. I’ll add: growling, whining, moaning, groaning, panting, yelling, screaming, and any other vocal affectation. Please — sing with the voice God gave you. It might not be a great one, but trust me, it’s better than the one you’re faking.
   My most hated musical crime is poor enunciation. I’m not referring to the careless kind, although that’s bad enough. I mean the intentional kind, in which the singer pronounces words in ways he never would if he was speaking, because it’s cool. Come on, people. Get Hooked on Phonics.
   A serious offender on both counts (this is one of those “wandering mind” segments) is Bob Dylan. Some say he can’t sing, but we’ll never know; we’ve never heard him try. I’d call what he does a combination of whining and moaning. And he obviously has no respect for phonics. His fans, if any are reading this, are thinking, “Yeah, but man, can he write. He’s a brilliant lyricist.” Yeah, whatever; I’ve got some poems I wrote when I was in 7th grade and in “love” with a gorgeous 8th grade blonde that might impress you, too. I was in Montana, and she was in Bismarck, North Dakota. It was never to be . . . Sorry, I wandered a little too far, there. Sigh.

There is no male gender, nor female. Male and female are not genders; they are sexes. Gender is described as masculine or feminine.

Does my wife read every word I post? I’ll know soon. OK, Honey, if you’re reading this, when I say, “Dylan,” you say, “stinks.”

How do you pronounce evangelical? Most say “ēvangelical”; some say “ĕvangelical.” As I’ve observe who says what, I think I’ve figured it out. It’s those uppity guys with “Dr.” in front of their names who use the latter pronunciation. The rest of us are right, but will never be published.

Every time I go out, I see people, including adults, wearing sweats — in public. What is wrong with these people? It really is a sign of societal decay when people are more concerned with being comfortable than presentable. For my part, if I meet you in a public place (not a gym or a jogging path), and you are wearing sweats, I’ll assume you can’t be trusted with serious responsibility. After all, you didn’t even manage to get dressed before leaving the house. No wonder your kid can’t wear his cap straight or pull up his pants.

Sometimes I don’t understand my wife. The other day, she told me a story that was supposed to be funny, about a Norwegian who, overcome with emotion, confided in a friend: “I love my wife so much, I almost told her.” What’s funny about that? I thought it was touching.

I already linked to this in the sidebar, but this is too good to leave there. I don't know who this guy is, but he's, like, totally . . . you know? Yeah.

Like, You know?
(HT: PyroManiacs)

Tim Challies wrote yesterday on 10 Tips to Read More and Read Better. It’s a helpful article; I especially liked his final point:

Read What Your Heroes Read - A couple of years ago, while at the Shepherds’ Conference, a young man who was in ministry but had not had opportunity to attend seminary asked John MacArthur what he would recommend to this man so he could continue learning and continue growing in his knowledge of theology. MacArthur’s answer was simple: He said that this pastor should find godly men he admires and read what they read.

This is something I’ve tried to do more in recent years. Of course, that means I often find myself reading over my head. All of my favorite teachers are head and shoulders—and probably navels—above me in every way, and they didn’t get that way by reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I often find myself reaching for the fruit on the higher branches. I can’t always reach it, but my reach increases as I stretch.

Anyway, this post is really going nowhere, except to ask you, the reader, who your favorite theologians are. Who has influenced you most profoundly? List as many as you like, but I’d like to see, at the top of the list, at least one living and one dead theologian, if you can.

My most influential living teacher is, by far, John MacArthur. The first serious Christian book I ever purchased was The Gospel According to Jesus. I discovered R. C. Sproul some time later. After that, everything else in the bookstore seemed so light and worthless. I’m thankful that today there seem to be a great increase in good quality, Biblical writing. Certainly, there is an abundance of worthless fluff and downright heresy in Christian bookstores today, but I really believe there is also a resurgence of solid Reformed theology as well.

It is more difficult to name one dead theologian to top the list. I have not read a large amount of any one, but rather small portions of several. I suppose, having been raised Lutheran, and having learned Luther’s Small Catechism and attended a Lutheran bible school, that Luther has influenced me more than I know (which is quite a lot). More recently, as I have begun reading the Puritans, William Gurnall’s The Christian in Complete Armour—which I am reading   v e r y   s l o w l y—has given me more to think about than any other single book. This is the “Christian living” book to replace all of those flaky “How to _____” and “Seven steps to a _____” books in the bookstore.

So, those are my most influential authors, living and dead. Who are yours?

I'm still mostly off-line, but while I'm away, here is a question for you to ponder and come up with a good answer for me.

The first of God's laws existed prior to his verbal or written decrees. They are found in his creation. We know much of how God wants things to be because he made them a certain way. For example, even before he spoke concerning homosexuality, he created an order requiring heterosexuality. Based on this reasoning, when God's Word is silent on a question, I look to creation to see what it tells me, if anything, about God's will on the issue. For another, more personal, example, I wear a beard partly because God put it there. I don't believe shaving is in any way sinful, but I do believe that the presence of hair follicles on my face indicates God's intention. Of course, if I see something that appears naturally right, and Scripture disagrees, I know I have a mistaken understanding of nature — which brings me to my question.

1Corinthians 11:14 says, "Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair*, it is a shame unto him?" My question is, how does nature teach us this? Scripture says so, therefore it is true. However, if men let their hair grow, it naturally grows long, so I would be inclined to believe the opposite.

How does nature itself teach us that long hair on a man is shameful?

Phillip Way's post yesterday, What Day Was Jesus Crucified? reminded me of my own post last year, What Day Was the Crucifixion? So, having nothing to say for myself today, I would like to draw your attention to these two posts. You can pretend mine was written this year instead of last, and that Pastor Way got the idea from me.

Several years ago I aquired one volume of a ten-volume set of The Westminster Pulpit, the preaching of G. Campbell Morgan. I have never read the whole book, only several selected sermons, but they are all quite good. The introduction to this volume refers to Morgan as the "Prince of Expositors." I have looked for volumes to complete the set, but have never found them for a price I was willing to pay. Now, however, Baker Publishing has produced a five-volume set selling for $34.99 from CBD.

Now, here is my question, and the reason I bring this up. I can't remember ever seeing Morgan quoted or mentioned by any of my favorite theologians and authors. If he was such a great reformed preacher, why would that be? Is there some defect in his theology of which I am ignorant? Or was he just not as great as his admirers say?

Tell me what you know about G. Campell Morgan.

"For most of the world, it's really a necessity. The stay-at-home mom is over not just because of women's liberation but because of men's liberation from wanting to be the breadwinners." -Uma Thurman [emphasis added]

"The beauty of doing nothing is that you can do it perfectly. Only when you do something is it almost impossible to do it without mistakes. Therefore people who are contributing nothing to society except their constant criticisms can feel both intellectually and morally superior." -Thomas Sowell

I just returned home from a day of reluctant but necessary shopping, and I'm a little cranky. My complaint concerns store salespeople. Please don't resent the information I am about to share with you. It is really in your best interest to consider it, especially if you work on commission.

When I say "I'm just looking around," that means "Go away." After I have said that,

Don't hover nearby like a mosquito.

Don't stand there and offer opinions and information about every item I pick up or you think I might pick up.

When I ask my wife what she thinks, or vice verse, we're not asking you.

These things are not helpful. When you fail to understand this, I leave and spend my money somewhere else, like I did today.

President Bush says that it is "unrealistic" to think that we can deport 12 million illegal immigrants. It is also unrealistic to think that we can catch all murderers, but does that mean that we should de-criminalize murder? Or turn loose the murderers we do catch? -Thomas Sowell

"[T]he world of blogs may be filling up with people who for the previous 200 millennia of human existence kept their weird thoughts more or less to themselves." Read more...